Hello Jew,

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

alexeliezer wrote on 07 Aug 2011 12:29:


I really hope so. its great to get a week under my belt!

Never ever let your guard down.

Not even for a minute.

Momentum works best in a straight line.

Thanks Hashem im still clean but have had slips! shmiras einayim. thankfully its now the end of a day and if I start well i can usually contionue. its when I slip, very hard tio get back up and then hope not to fall!

But am just celebrating that im still clean!  ;D

Good for you. Keep it up and remember that before you begin to sleep, when YH says just one look, rember, how difficult it will be to stop.

Keep on trucking. One day at a time.

Alex truly is a sage. And daat... and most folks here.
Definitely, turning away the entire head is what's required for me. Sometimes, my shoulders and upper body follow in the turn, too, so strong is the desire to fix the gaze on someone. Sometimes I feel I'm straining my neck...but G-d save me if I don't turn!
I had to run out of a store recently, 'cause there was nowhere to turn away to. I was sick for two days with stuff that entered my periferal vision.
Jew, you've done 90 days! You are my hero. alexeliezer wrote on 08 Aug 2011 18:44:

And stick with the forum and reading books and chizzuk emails etc ad infinitum...ad noseum

and you know what?
yosef hatzidik ran out of poitifar's house into the street, left his dress inside
didnt care on anything, just ran for his life
and you are following his footsteps

JackInShteeble wrote on 15 Aug 2011 21:55:

I told you, most people here are SAGES! that is a great analogy, too bad I can't boast to anyone I know 

i didnt get that, can you please explain yourself

JackInShteeble wrote on 16 Aug 2011 11:41:

Sure:
Your analogy of me running out of the store to Yosef Hatzaddik running out on mrs. poitifar is well taken.
That's why I think you're a sage. This is not a back -handed compliment, it's how I think about you and people on this forum.
And I wish I could tell someone in the real world that I did something akin to my Hero of Heros, Yosef Hatzaddik (who is my favorite Bible character, if we were to play this game).
The end.

you are as strong as most of us here, i personaly think you are really strong, look at your goals, will power, clearity, honesty
the yetzer hora can make someone imagine that he is a total faliure, while he is a real hero!
you are nothing less then any jew, anywhere in the entire globe
hashem loves you with a unconditional love
(i think that because i was brought in a real frum way of life, therefore my sins are far worse then others,
and my only courage to do tshuva is, because i see that hashem loves me, whenever i call him he helps me)
so if we can do it, for sure you can do it
by the way, we are all בני מלכים SAGES
therefore we can read kreyas shma until 3 hours in the day

Been away from the forum for a few days.
Glad to see you're still rockin!

alexeliezer wrote on 17 Aug 2011 16:44:


Me too, however, I slipped and regretfully fell.

One main observation is tha I couldnt controal my eyes oout on the street. it just built up and up until, well, I guess, I popped. One week of supression and frustration came out. but it sjhouldnt be like that. however, Im back at the wheel, at 3 days clean agaion and learning at every fall - somethign ive never done before. Another positive is that usually when I fall, I fall another 3 or 4 times in the same week. Boruch Hashem, that hasnt happened.

A main issue i've had is the pressure I put on myself. I had visision of being clean from T'sha B'av to Rosh Hashanna. wow what a achievement that would have been. but those thoughts allowed my yetzer to come on in and start on me! I dont take it one day at a time and I should.

Thanks for everyone being here and listening to me. it really helps to know you're there.

You're on the right track.  And not re-slipping is a sign of huge progress.
The streets are murder these days.  It's unbelievable what they're (not) wearing out there.  Something I learned from a chizuk email is to go outside with the attitude that really I shouldn't be out here altogether, it's too dangerous for me.  But nu, I have places I need to go.  But I only have the right to be out here if I can guard my eyes.  I only have the right to look exactly where I need to so I get where I'm going without bumping into something or crashing. (A stark contrast to the old "woohoo it's flesh season" attitude I used to have.)

And yes, it's one day at a time, one nisayon at a time.

Work the steps.  They really work!

Good Shabbos,
Alex

Jew wrote on 19 Aug 2011 07:08:


OH, I LOVE THIS! YOU SET ME UP FOR MY FAVORITE COMMENT:

Try to pay attention to your perceptions and motives.  You may find there is pressure building up, but there's probably a lot more there than repressed s*xual urges.  It's pressure of life, restlessness, irritability, discontent.  Perhaps the fear that things in life aren't going to turn out as you expect, and resentment when things didn't turn out as you hoped.

The lust part of it is often just a cover-up.  It's a symptom, not the REAL problem.

You're on the right track.  Good luck.

--Elyah