Hi I am new to this site.
I am bh married wonderfully w children.
I wouldn't say I am an addict, But I finally realized that I have a problem that I need outside help with and I am grateful that I found this site to get me started.
All though my teenage years I had a regular addiction to masturbation and occasional porn.
The other day I found myself going somewhere to do something that I am very embaressed about.
I never thought I can fall this low and this is what me realize that I need help.
Right now I have no urges and I feel terrible but I know that this irresistable feeling will come back let it be days or weeks.

Mendy -

I guess you are like a social smoker. Not addicted but you do it sporadically from time to time. Its good you are here. Even hanging out here has the power to really weaken the urge. Read some stories of people who did not stop when they had the chance and it will freak you out.. You will think a bit more about it the next time you have the urge!

ninety

I guess you can say that. even though I don't smoke. I never imagined until I stumbled on this site this afternoon that their are so many people in worse situations than I am. I just feel so terible about how low I fell the other day That I finally realized that I must seek out help

I am no expert but I guess one way to really tell if you have a serious issue is try to go a few weeks or 90 days without falling. If you can do that with ease than I am sure no one here will tell you your issue is that serious. All you need is to learn a bit more mussar to see the ill effects of porn and masturbation.

But if you see you cant do it and when you get stressed you turn to the computer, the issue will only get worse before it gets better, unless you proactively decide to make it better.

Welcome to the forum, Mendy.

I never got into anything that you would think of as a really big mess with my lust addiction.  Never got caught up with prostitutes or anything like that.

But, I saw that I WAS COMPLETELY POWERLESS TO STOP.  And, I felt a constant pull, curious, to get involved with more.

When I joined GYE (about 2 years ago) and finally put a filter on my computer, I had just upgraded to high-speed internet, and I KNOW I WAS ON THE VERGE OF GETTING INVOLVED MORE SERIOUSLY.  Videos, chatrooms perhaps, and then who knows what.  It was not inconceivable.  I know it starts with just a little slip, a little beyond what I have already been doing.  And, SINCE I AM POWERLESS, it is only a matter of time before I get pulled into it completely.

I don't know if any of that resonates with you.

--Eye.

...and here it the official GYE welcome for you:

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Thanks for your help guys. regarding the filters how does that work ? I know computers if I can install one I can probably uninstall it as soon as I wanted to. I don't think that would really help.

Welcome, " hit bottom while still on top" that's what we call it, your lucky you found us now! read the hand book and see this page http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2451 with a neder you can break free, be in touch with one of the experienced guys as to how to go about it, but hazlocha! 

As far as a filter, what about web chaver or the like?

very helpfull info and details about filteers, see www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=24