I have found shvuos very helpful in jumpstarting my recovery in the past.  I would simply make a shvua that I wouldn't look at or search for untznius images on the internet for a given period of time.  This left me plenty of outs just in case I became overwhelmed with taiva.  It never happened.  I never thought of pledging money, but it does seem like an equally effective (and safer) approach.

You're back up! Day one is underway!
Hatzlocho!
Alex

cominghome wrote on 12 Jul 2011 07:26:

thanks for that link, great shiur!

Thank you guys for your responses, today was a great day!

Good to hear that, keep it going and it should be a zechus for all the crazy things going on in the world!

Gd knows this World can use our help right now.

Just checked in on my 90 day journey, I hope winning today's battle will help the World, as you said.

Hello cominghome!  You've finally come home!

It sounds like you have really admitted defeat in this struggle, which is a good step.  It means you can admit you need help, and once you can admit that, you can get help.  And, you've come to the right place for that.

One thing to remember is that we are not bad people for having this addiction.  When we fall, it is a sickness for us, not a sin.  We are not bad people trying to be good, we are sick people trying to get well.

And, through this forum, you will find the tools for recovery.

Lots of luck to you,

--Eye.

Thanks! Your replies are amazing.

I'm back on the wall, baby, 8 days and counting. Level 2 and rising! BH!

keep it up and i'm happy you joined my 3 week project, if you guard your eyes it will be easier! 

Hi I read your posts and wish you much success!!
Thank you for introducing me to SimpleToRemember.com

I was in America recently and found it very difficult. I had a fall. It wasn't a "full" fall, I was able to regain control after just a few drops came out (sorry to be so graphic). Motzei Zera L'evatal is still Motzei Zera L'evatala, and I should NOT have allowed myself to get that far. I paid my fine (since I had made a shavua that I would so so) to GYE and updated my chart. I would be level 5 now, but instead I'm back down to level 1. I hope to have a productive Elul.

I had a job interview for a position that will keep me away from the Internet so often - I currently work 95% online and am self-employed. Please daven for me that a) I should get the position so that I can get away from the Internet and have a greater monetary source of income (b'derach teva..we all know it's all really from HaShem) and b) I should never find myself in bad office situations (I'll be in charge of hiring, so I can control who works in my office, BH). Thanks!!

I really identify with this struggle to improve your work situation. I too work for myself and have been looking for ways to decrease the amount of involvement I have with the net. I have made a lot of improvements and gotten my external situation to be much better than it was... Still more to go, butits something so far.... Good luck to you!

coming home I wish you da best it is a long road but you seem to be learning how to drive.Hatzloooooochah

cominghome, I just read all of the posts on this thread from beginning to end and I'm very impressed. How are you doing these days?
You might be interested in joining an accountability group. There is a group that I started under the name "The Av Group". It's been going for a few weeks now and it could use some fresh perspective and vigor at this point. I think you are the type who would be perfect. Members are expected to post often (at least 2 a week, preferably every day). Do you know what an accountability group is? check it out and let me know...

I was also in denial several years. Ones we get out and we reach out, we see it's the best for us and for others to keep strong.

cominghome. You are giving me so much chizuk just reading about your continued perserverance.  A friend recently told me that there is nothing more that the yetzer hara wants then for us to get down and dwell upon a stumble in avodas Hashem. The yetzer hora  cares more about the after aveira then the aveira itself.  My friend told me to pik myself up, do an honest teshuva, and just move forward.  As they say here, keep on trucking. we all fall, and of course we need to do teshuva.  Perhaps part of the teshuva is not letting ourselves get down after a fall.  that is not avoidas Hashem, but avodas Hayetzer hora. 

You are doing amazing.  This is definitely the place to let loose pour out feelings and read stories and struggles of strength.

By the way, I found that after long enough of being clean, the desire for shmutz gets much much less.  That is not to say that we can sneak a peak or let our guard down ( i learned that the hard way) but there is what to look forward to.  I never in my life felt so free as the time that I was clean for a long time.

You will bezras Hashem be there soon.

chasdei