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TOPIC: hi yidden 1204 Views

hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 06:51 #109980

  • ICanRepair
Been visiting the site for awhile. Am in my early twenties, a bochur. In late teens I began to be nichshol in z"l on a regular basis. I have been free from this aveira for over a year, B"H, though I've been tempted many times.

Question I need to ask and this is embarrassing, but if not here, then where? I noticed that sometimes when I am making a bowel movement a few drops of zera sometimes come out too. At least it seems like it's zera, it's definitely not urine. I STRESS there is no kishui eiver when this happens. Has anyone experienced this? Should I ask a doctor. I try to go to the mikveh after this happens.

thanks for reading and giving each other strength
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 08:10 #109982

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see a physician!
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 08:25 #109984

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This is a known phenomenon.

The Ben-Ish-Chai (Shu"t Torah Lishmah Siman 411) addresses this question (I am providing a loose translation):

Q: If a person experiences an emission as the result of the force exercised in the course of a b.m., with no erection whatsoever, is this considered "Keri" in the sense that one would be rendered impure? (implicit in the question is the assumption that it is definitely not an aveirah -the question is as concerns tevillas Ezra)

A: According to the Gemara Niddah (43a) and the Rambam (Sh'ar Avos Hatumah 5:4) any seminal emission that is not felt by the entire body does not render one 'impure'. Therefore if one experiences a seminal emission with no arousal and no erection, it is not considered "Shichvas Zera" that would render one 'impure'. Therefore in the case described above, one is not considered 'impure', since these droplets are emitted with no feeling, no erection, and no arousal.

The Ben-Ish-Chai concludes that if possible, it is commendable to go to the mikvah even in such a case.

Hatzlachah Rabbah,

E. ben Durdayah
For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is
 Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee




 
Last Edit: 30 Jun 2011 17:41 by .

Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 16:27 #110013

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Reb Ben Durdayah, you can't know how much you've comforted me! To see my seemingly very strange issue dealt with by the Ben Ish Chai is a great relief. And to know one is not rendered "impure" from the occurrence, though it's still good to go to mikveh. Thank you.
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 17:41 #110023

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You're always welcome!

E
For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is
 Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee




 
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 18:03 #110031

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Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

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1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

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May Hashem be with you!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 18:38 #110036

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Welcome Reb Repair Guy,
The Torah knowledge of some of the guys on this forum never ceases to impress me.  I have on occasion experienced what you describe and it is of no medical concern.  Wishing you continued syata dishmaya with overcoming your Y"H.
Alex
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 21:53 #110062

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ben durdayah, what an amazingly thoughtful and loving post.  Take a breath, ask for a brocho.

Nu, ICanRepair, is this the place or what?!  Hatzlocha!
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Re: hi yidden 30 Jun 2011 22:10 #110064

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1daat wrote on 30 Jun 2011 21:53:

ben durdayah, what an amazingly thoughtful and loving post.  Take a breath, ask for a brocho.

Nu, ICanRepair, is this the place or what?!  Hatzlocha!


Thanks 1daat  :-[

What use is knowledge if you don't pass it on?

E
For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is
 Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee




 
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Re: hi yidden 01 Jul 2011 12:47 #110097

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And don't forget to give yourself a "pat in the back" for being clean for a year!!!!!! you are holding up the world!!!!  Don't focus on the little drop that maybe came out and if its zerea or not, be happy that you are free and clean!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: hi yidden 01 Jul 2011 17:20 #110126

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Helpfyi wrote on 01 Jul 2011 12:47:

And don't forget to give yourself a "pat in the back" for being clean for a year!!!!!! you are holding up the world!!!!  Don't focus on the little drop that maybe came out and if its zerea or not, be happy that you are free and clean!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well said

THUMBS UP!!
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Re: hi yidden 01 Jul 2011 17:38 #110132

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Helpfyi wrote on 01 Jul 2011 12:47:

And don't forget to give yourself a "pat in the back" for being clean for a year!!!!!! you are holding up the world!!!!  Don't focus on the little drop that maybe came out and if its zerea or not, be happy that you are free and clean!!!!!!!!!!!!!


psh, that's an eitza toiva if I've ever heard one. thanks for the perspective.
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Re: hi yidden 01 Jul 2011 18:07 #110138

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ICanRepair wrote on 01 Jul 2011 17:38:

Helpfyi wrote on 01 Jul 2011 12:47:

And don't forget to give yourself a "pat in the back" for being clean for a year!!!!!! you are holding up the world!!!!  Don't focus on the little drop that maybe came out and if its zerea or not, be happy that you are free and clean!!!!!!!!!!!!!


psh, that's an eitza toiva if I've ever heard one. thanks for the perspective.


Thats this worlds problem we focus on what bad we have done not on that every step we take we are faced with more test then the choftz chaim had his whole life!!  I once heard from R' shamshon Pincus Z"tL that if he gets up to shamyim after 120 and they ask how come he's not R' Akiva Eger he will answer "DID R AKIVA EGER EVER WALK THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN??!!??"

keep it up you are a great person every time you hold back you are like yosef hazadik! learn good bec torah is the kaprah for all! (see nefesh hachaim shar 4 says torah is a kapprah for all avreious even harsh ones, that will work better then the mikvah)
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Re: hi yidden 05 Jul 2011 17:51 #110366

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ICanRepair wrote on 30 Jun 2011 16:27:

Reb Ben Durdayah, you can't know how much you've comforted me!


Me too!

I also appreciate Harav Ben Durdaya's showing that the Ben Ish Chai wrote about this!



I experienced this on Yom Kippur Eve during Maariv. I was devastated! I felt like the proverbial servant who just got splashed in the face with the water he served his Master! Needless to say, my davening was not in the best of spirit.

I walked the Rav home from shul & asked him about it. (He know about my GYE life.) I told him that he MUST reassure me. I asked if I should go to a mikva secretly. (Some Rabbonim pasken that a Baal Keri should take one dip in a mikva even on Yom Kippur. [I heard that the Satmar Rav Zy"a kept his mikva open for this purpose.])

The Rav replied (quoting seforim which I do not recall) that Zera/Keri is impossible to be ejected without kishui ever. Therefore, this is most definitely not Keri.

Furthermore, it might be Zivus. A Zav is also Tumah, although in a different category - not in 'excommunication' from Hashem R"L, but, the Rav said, I am not a Zav either. B'shiva derachim bodkim ess haZav: B'maachel, b'mishta etc. If it comes from eating specific foods, overeating in general, strenuous activities etc. it is not Tumah at all. No need for any Taharah process other than hand washing like every time we use the bathroom.


Thereafter, I had this experience many more times. Boruch Hashem, the guilty feeling and the lowly/dirty sensations are not with me anymore.
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Re: hi yidden 05 Jul 2011 20:09 #110391

  • ben durdayah
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I'm glad to hear that this information was useful and comforting.

Like I told 1daat above:
ben durdayah wrote on 30 Jun 2011 22:10:


:-[

What use is knowledge if you don't pass it on?



E
For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is
 Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee




 
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