I fell last night :'( Today has been good though and hopefully I can try to ger through the working week as thats when its easiest and hardest when Im not as busy - usually Thursday nights and motzai shabbos. Oy vey motzai Shabbos is the hardest time for me.

OK, lets try!

Today I'm back in the car (or truck) - day one!

I'll let you know tomorrow! Hatslocho!

This is the hardest time, I do feel for you. It is good that you are back in the car/truck. Now concentrate on THE JOURNEY....WHERE ARE YOU GOING AND WHY ARE YOU GOING THERE? We have reasons and the self destruct is too easy to do sometimes.
Right , now think of "lapsing" as "crashing" the truck, HOW can you stop from any potential accidents? What will YOU do?????
You can do this . What are you reading at present????? 

A good day today, no wobbles.

How are you today Jew? Feel free to message anytime !

Also a good night last night and a good day today!

I'm back in!

Yay! Good lad 

and im still with you! tonight will be 3 days!!!!!

Yay metsuyan! Well done Jew lad, thought about you today.

A good day here too !

back on the chart for the first time in weeks. thats a achievement on its own.

It really seems to me that you need to make this a massive part of your life if it will help the addiction. its so important to read something from here every day just to stay connected and just to remember that were not alone in this battle that sometimes feels so lonely and sometimes you feel so isolated from klal yisroel. there are others and it is possible to overcome and many have much deeper rooted addictions, certainly than I.

OK so I had a fall last night. However, Its not as bad nas usual. Yes, it was the usual Thursday night trap and i hope I dont fall into the Saturday night trap too. But this time it involved no internet. The reason why i think this is different is because it stemmed from the fat that I couldnt sleep and I now that I can see this is a problem I an read before bed every night to ensure that I have an activity to do to get my tired. But if it was with the internet, its like it was caused by the images, as if I had no control at all. At least without the internet, you do have some control still. Thoughts?

Yes I feel like an idiot, falling into the same trap and wondering will I ever grow up but I could also say that about Loshon Hora, but I dont dont! This feels so much worse.

Time to read windows of the soul.

Jew, I agree with you that falling when not online is different from falling online. When you're on the internet, your yetzer hara is basically sitting there smiling, knowing that he'll get a chance to nab you at any second. When you're off the internet, especially involved with a clean book, the yezter hara panicks a bit and has to try gorilla warfare attacks.

You were able to stay offline because you're strong. The yetzer hara is scared of your strength and will try anything to get you. Stay strong, keep the yetzer hara scared. The more time offline the better.

If you need good books that are intellectual in nature (less chance for fantasies to set in) but great reads, check out Seth Godin and Malcolm Gladwell. Just my opinion.

I read some other posts of yours - you're an inspiration, keep it up!

Indeed and agreed. Keep it up Jew, you are on the right path. Add "Mans Search For Meaning" by Victor Frankl too. I run as well as read and it helps a lot......try it!

You know were we are if you need to talk.

Take care Jew lad, Kvetched.

Fell again last night :'( usual trick on motzai Shabbos.

I saw somewhere here that its crucial to learn from habits - well clearly mine are thursday nights and motzai Shabbos. I can go through the work week clean easily its when I lose structure that I fall apart. So I'm hoping that some changes to my weekend evening schedule will help. I always saw light entertainment as bitul but if you compare to the other option it actually beomes holy, if it works!

Thanks for being mchazeik me. How is everyone else doing? it will really help me to hear from you. what are you doing to stay clean? the book suggestions are great. I usually read mishpacha as I dont get a chane to read it in the week.

Jew

I had a thought that Id like to share.

Some time ago when I was becoming frum, I had been keeping Shabbos for about year and it was really easy, never tempted to break at all. However avfter about a year I started to feel sick about the idea of keeping Shabbos and suddenly didnt want to anymore! My Rabbi explained to me that the first year was a gift from Hashem and once I was ready to try it myself and actually work for the Shabbos it woould become harder. So I started learning about Shabbos and going to shul and that was enough. He said to me that I will always come accross this in life, things being easy to start, then once Hashem sees that I can do it myself He lets us earn what we had.

Perhapds the same is true here, I had 90 days - easy. Now! I cant get 3! not even 3! so now if Hashem feels that I'm ready to start fighting this (of ourse I still need syata D'shmaya, not saying not, but before it was me at all, just a taste of what could be) then who am I to disagree! Hashem, I cant do this without you though! Please help me to earn this purity.

For me, Sunday & Shabbos night are also the hardest times. I have been trying to avoid using computer on these days, but not always successful  . There is always something I need to do online. 

Shalom Jew, hope you are ok?
My method is quite straight forward....I am pushing myself and fighting (actively) any dark thoughts as and when they arise. I place my own soul as "supreme" and as "pure" against the forces of evil. It is a sort of war and I feel empowered and mobalised to take up the fight.
Reading is a great source of back up as is faith....I am a reformist Jew....running helps alot too. If your work structure is "loose" then fill it up with books or running.

Keep it up Jew lad.

Kvetched.