(Me calling my wife)

"Hey how are you".

(She's very busy working) "is there some reason your're calling me"

"Would you prefer I call someone else's wife?"(I said that w/a shtik smile)

"Well in that case.. I'm happy you called me" :-)

"Talk to you later".

Quick, and a good connection, BH

;D

One of the Alter Rebbe's great and very close chassidim had yechidus, in the course of which the Rebbe inquired after his situation. The chassid complained bitterly that his financial situation had utterly deteriorated. The Rebbe responded: You are needed to illuminate your environment with Torah and avoda of the heart(davening). Livelihood and what
you need - that, G-d must provide for you. You do what you must, and G-d will do what He must.

I once read an amazing few words from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, in a response letter to someone who was 'stressed out'; amazing how this is related to recovery:

"Being involved with Torah will of course help your mind from these distracting thoughts. By 'being involved (osek) b'Torah however, I don't
necessarily mean only learning from a sefer. Sitting, while relaxing and
contemplating Hashem's kindness in one's life, can also be considered
'being involved (osek) b'Torah'".

(Now how often do we hear that!?!)

The sages tell us that our father Jacob never died. “Since his children are alive, he is alive.”

Each and every Jew is the personification of his father Jacob, and the heart of each and every Jew is alive and beating strong. To say about any one of them that he is spiritually dead is to pronounce our father Jacob dead. If to you it appears that way, the fault is in you, not in the Jew you observe.

G?d sees only good in them. He will make great miracles for them and they will be safe.

I'm referring to every Jew.

(In a talk from the Lubavitcher Rebbe)

 

All the troubles that befall us and which continue to plague us come about because we do not cry out to G-d and beseech Him over and over again to deliver us from them. Because if we would pour our hearts out to G-d, He would certainly not ignore our prayers and requests. A person should not be satisfied with praying Shemoneh Esrei three times a day; rather, he should pour out his heart, speaking in his own words, in his own home, several times a day.” (Chafetz Chaim, Likutei Amarim, Chapter 10, page 4)

I don't know where the gemorra says it, but the mashal it gives is..."a man brings home wheat but it's inedible; the wife first has to grind it and cook it and make it into bread, and only then is it beneficial to all... So too, the man himself, with all of his daily experiences, he has to become absorbed into his wife's experience on her terms, and only then will he himself become the most beneficial version of himself to benefit all."(Or something like that)

I too have put 100's of 'plans' I thought were important, on the side throughout our marriage (not always easy)... The results, as our Holy Torah says, are very 'nourishing'.

Too long time no speak. Hot summer. BH happy to connect.  When I feel 'broken' like a 'loser' it's no doubt that I'm just 'soil' which Hashem is 'plowing' and 'breaking up' in order to plant new seeds of growth into me, so great growth will sprout from me.

hi serene welcome back I am not so familiar with your story just came across your posts and see you havent been here in awhile welcome back.

BH. I have a boring grateful life.. Al's well

boring for me is risky I thing I am more vunurable because I am not being stimulated during these weeks.

A) a fish can be 'bored' in the tank, just sitting there, with not much to do....      Take him OUT of the tank and put him on your table, however... NOW he's 'livin it up!'.. Just look at him,.. Jumping and dancing like crazy!! :-)..    Right?.. He's 'really havin a 'good time' now, don't ya think?

one of the greatest things I EVER HEARD (actually from S-anaon literature): "DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING, SIT THERE".
(Which I internalize as: G-d will do whatever I think I 'need' to do this moment, much better than me. Life is actually amazing by me just sitting wherever I am, and helping the family, working, falling asleep in the shiur... Etc..)..

Yes.. Boring and experience indescibable blessings in Hashem's plan ...  Increaing even more,...Slowly, day by day

Just a though I lived with today on the ride home. I once was told by a bresolver in R. Nachman's name: "why did Hashem show the knot of tefilin to Moshe; Why the back side?"

Many many times, all of us go through challenges in life. Only when the 'period of struggle', or 'situation' works out, do we then look back and see how "Oh!,it was all for the good afterall", or "how grateful I am in retrospect, that it all happened that way" etc..
Only when we are in a position to 'look back' do we perceive the blessing.

This is what Moshe was shown:.. up front, and first, he was shown the 'back/retroactive" view and perception.  He saw the 'mafreyah', Lichatchila.

So today on the train (which is TRIGGER CITY(!!!) ), every moment I prayed to be aware of my 'after experience'(my mafreyah)...

Meaning: Soon, 'AFTER' I get off the train, will be a family to greet me at home, children to look in the eye, a wife to connect and live with, and most important of all, a 'me' who will be dealing with myself..

Do I want to feel guilt when I look my children in the eye 'after' I get off the train? Do I want to speak about Hashem 'after I get off the train',in the home, knowing I was just lusting like a freak??..

So, lichatchila, beforehand, while I was on the train,  I was blessed to focus on my 'after' in my  head and heart..

(And even though I'm not Moshe Rabynu (duh), nevertheless, every single yid has a 'bisseleh Moshele' inside him/herself to tap into and get infinate power from every day, all the time. Which is why, when the Gemora asks "is fear of Hashem really so easy for all the yidden??", the answer it gives is "Yes: For Moshe it's easy".. For the little spark of the 'Faithful Shepard Moshe' in all of us, it's very near and easy to also (on a smaller level) experience what Moshe experienced.

It obviously helps to have recently been blessed with 7 years of sobriety from this crippling disease, combined with meetings and phone calls I make on a daily basis.)

... 30 minutes later...

And BH, now, I'm living in and typing in, the 'after' period: I'm off the train now, and it is an 'after' to be proud of and extremely grateful for :-).. Just for today, one day at a time..

(There's another 'after' waiting at home now.. "When I lay down tonight, will I sleep having shown love to the family, a kind, listening spirit to the children, and affection for my dear wife??".. For this 'after' I'm praying lichatchilah;right now.)

wow great thought
i saw a very similer pshat in beaaros hamayim from reb mendele of riminev zt"l

What a smile jack! :-D