Not every yid, man or woman, is 'so frum' to be 'always so heilig'.. No matter what she, or any girl does, I gotta stay connected to H'. It's tough, yes,.. But BH habits are second nature by now and I always ask H' to help me further. Should we G-d forbid daven that all women be removed from the earth?? Since they're here, muz men zuggen (we must say) that H' who is kulo tov (all good), gives us kochos to be happy and stay 'connected' no matter WHAT is happening around us.

muz men zogen since u quote moshiach tanya and simcha that u are from chabad ;D ;D

My opinion:

Women and men should not be interacting unnecessarily, and when they must interact, it should be in a respectful but reserved manner. 

This young lady wanted to do the Mitzvah of giving Tzedakah.  However, that created the need for her to interact with SS, and then she felt obligated to smile at him, which is not acting "reserved."  I think it would have been a greater Zechus to give the Tzedakah under circumstances that did not have such downside. 

Kedusha is always around when we need Kedusha!

kedusha wrote : I think it would have been a greater Zechus to give the Tzedakah under circumstances that did not have such downside"



100%

(she is also a am haaretz cause no need for pushka..... but probably she knows how to bake and cook, so its fine...)

Anyway guys, it's ok now, she's away & I'm enjoying reading these posts. Here is one Torah which helps me every moment of my life.. "The mishna says "any fish with scales has fins". (On the flip side, a fish with fins might not have scales). 'Fins' indicate the positive mitvas: 'action related' activities we do as we navigate through the day (like having fins to get us around). Scales are a 'protective shield' on a fish, similar to our 365 lo ta'aseh which we protect ourselves from. Internally we also make a 'protective shield' against activities contrary to the Torah. We may indeed become 'BIG PEOPLE' in the world; DOING a lot because of our fins which get us around... But With no 'scales' of protection  however, we are immediately lured into the deadly habits of the world foreign to a yiddishe neshoma:      We're not kosher, like a whale or dolphin that has ONLY fins but no scales (like Maddoff or ex-gov Spritzer: Jews with lots of 'fins' and accomplishments but with no 'scales' of protection against the lo sa'aseh). Our holy Mishna tells us clearly in TORAS EMES: "EVERY FISH WITH SCALES HAS FINS!". Every time we avoid looking where we shouldn't look, and avoid thinking even 1 less machshava zara (i.e. we use our 'scales' of protection), EVEN IF THE PAIN IS SO GREAT BY NOT LOOKING, we automatically are growing (with our ruchnius 'fins') closer to Hashem. We won't see 'how', and we don't need to know 'how', but Torah paskins that by 'staying away', we automatically are growing. Torah defines reality and paskens so.

We automatically have both fins AND scales, which makes us 'kosher'. We may feel ONLY PAIN by not looking at the 'triggers' at first, and we may not understand how, but we automatically are growing.

We make the scales, then automatically we get fins! Wow! What a blessed system Hashem has made for us!

Soon too, habit becomes second nature and the pain which dominated at first becomes basically batul B'miut as we learn to see Hashem through the pain, which is transformed into great, great simcha as we can even share about our victories with dear beloved friends.

Hope this is not too long, but I live with this every day.

   
   

And "muz men zogen since u quote moshiach tanya and simcha that u are from chabad ;D ;D "... U made me smile :-D

ill do it again if i can

I think we can all use a smile once in a while      :-)

I try for once every minute or so (at least in my head for sure)... So far so good :-)

In that case.....      :-)

                                                                                                           

Oh, and "Keeping away from negativity" also (and mainly) means keeping away from self doubting, self destructive and depressing thoughts too. And again, the  result will be the same: great spiritual growth! (I make light jokes w/friends very often, learn a lot, and think the best of everyone in my life. We're all doing the best we can with what we have. Whatever we think about someone else, we automatically connect it to ourselves... Seeing others as essentially good makes my own mind a comfortable place to be (most of the time :-) )

RegularBachur: Trigger #1 is certainly more common (and more insidious).  I work around many very attractive young women who dress by American professional standards (far from tznius, but not quite trigger #2).  This requires constant vigilance and great mental energy.  However, it is still much less of a battle than when I indulged in endless compulsive looking and then had to deal with the much stronger battle against the thoughts which followed, and stayed, and tormented me.

When I'm out of the house, I try as much as possible not to look at people at all, unless I must interact with them.  This is a constant struggle, it's natural to look, just out of curiosity. If I'm walking down the street, I'll look up at the last second to an oncoming woman and say hello, so as not to be rude.  The less I look around, the less likely I am to confront trigger #2.  If she's a bona fide trigger #2 (as assessed from afar), I probably won't look up and say hello.

Another upside of not looking at people too much -- I can appreciate the beauty of nature so much more, which is connecting to the Boreh.

SS: Thanks for the dvar Torah

alexeliezer wrote on 09 May 2011 19:50:

ben durdayah wrote on 09 May 2011 20:11:


As good as she may be (or may not be), isn't it Maasei Satan that put her here, in my field of vision?