hello everyone,

i am new to posting but i've been browsing and getting chizuk well over a year now. i've been traveling on bard's truck for quite awhile. Was clean for about a year till i opened the back door of the truck 6 months ago and fell out smashing my head to smithereens. i've been clean since.
Spring is in the air and for those of us that come in to the big apple everyday its a real challenge to keep our head focused on the concrete. Not that winter is here is as pure as white snow. The billboards and the invitatations to Mekomos Hakedashim are all over the place(vehamivin yovin). Reb Shimshon pinkus z'tl used to say that if you take your glasses off in NYC then you're a great Tzadik. need to end here for now but plan on posting my story soon. 

maalin shlita,
welcome aboard. I'm captain Picard of the chinese auction and i'd like to make a few points that im sure you already know:
post alot
read the handbooks, please, do it for an old man
develop a systematic approach to breaking your addiction with the tools offered here (u need a hydrospanner?)
be honest in how far reaching has your pink elephants affected you,but at the same time leave out triggering words, like "scotty beam me up"
good to have you!
tz90

maalin.... what should i say..... in my case i should reather take off the glasses in front of my pc.....

welcome!
it's good to see you here
stay and post
you will gain from it
keep up your good work
zs

I understand.  Same in L.A.  Welcome.  You're really an old veteran by now.  You can teach us all as you make your journey.  Through today.  Just today.  Hazlocho

thank you for the warm welcome and encouragment. I saw the following vort yesterday.
Reb gamliel rabinovitch in his sefer on the megila has a moiridake vort. The possuk says "b'erev he ba'a uvaboker he shovo el bais hanoshim. Erev is a reference to the times when a person is in a state of darkness and boker is the state of light(clarity). The possuk starts with darkness and ends with light as the gemora and zohar states there is only light for one who has come from darkness. A person thinks that when he is in a state of darkness he is far from hashem but the possuk is teaching us that at the time of erev at the time of terrible nefilos and difficult nisyonos that is exactly when it is fitting for him to come to hashem ( b'erev he ba'a is referering to the neshomo coming to hashem)more so than when he is flying high in his avoda. That's when he creates the greatest nachas ruach within the battle that he battling l'maan hashem. That is what his neshomo was sent down here to contend with. I am not doing justice to the shtikel. Its k'dai to buy the sefer just for this piece. This should be a source of inspiration for us. As we fight the battle we must realize that we together with the king. i'll hopefully post more later.

ma'alin,
this is the underlying theme of all creation

ligalos haor mitoch hachoshech dayka, in the words of Tanya and R nachman

this is why many things are, such as why we become chayiv in mitzvos when we are 13, without any da'as
as the meor einayim in bereishis ex's, its because God knows a 13 yr old doesnt know what hashem is or the Torah like a mature adult, but Hashem davka wants us to do his service when it is dark and then find the light
so much on your point.....

MAALIN BAKODESH wrote on 15 Mar 2011 12:46:
1daat wrote on 16 Mar 2011 03:57:


Maybe, just as the Kohen godol made a Yom Tov for all his friends when he entered & emerged safely from the Kodesh hakodoshim on Yom Kippor, so too we should celebrate & thank Hashem everytime we go through the city streets?!?!


Anyone wants to meet me in Bardichev's Pub to share a L'chaim? We can all celebrate MAALIN BAKODESH's progress!!!

Hi everyone,
How do I post on my own thread from my blackberry? I have to go through a bunch of pages until I reach mine.
I'm need some advice for my situation.
BH I no longer have a mast.. Taavah. I never had a taavah for porn but my gosh the street is insane. I've been taking off my eyewear but this is what is so stressful. I have been trying to understand why I have this taavah, I seem to feel it even without any RID. Please advise. Does any follow my train?

Thank you

Maalin - maybe a good idea join the shiras enayim phone confrence every night he focuses on these inyanim exactly.  8:30 pm call in number 712-432-0900 pin 424479 its about a 20 min shiur.

Try it- it may help

One thing I found helped was to not try to understand.  The fact of the Tayvah I think was enough for me to cope with.  I stay in my head too much anyway.  So for me to start up with analyzing was really a way for me to think if I understood it, I could master it.

that's not to say that that's right for you.  Just sharing something that I do (or try not to do).

Hotzlocho.

MB:
I know what you're dealing with.  Where someone else might see an attractive woman, I had her instantly undressed in my mind and plugged into one of my fantasies.  This, of course, was torture for me, cause I couldn't have her.  Leads to a brief rush of Lust Drug, followed soon thereafter by frustration and unhappiness since I can't have what I want, until the next one comes up on the radar and the process renews.  Exhausting. Misery.

Shmiras Eynayim on the street is one of the toughest parts of this job.  It's nonstop novelty.  It's an ingrained habit to look.  The beginning was murder.  But I noticed when I stopped, I had true happiness.  And I wasn't mentally exhausted.  So I've been there and done that (for decades).  I like being truly happy better.  And the world looks so much more beautiful when my receptors aren't fried.

Sometimes I take off my glasses if it's the only solution, but I find it more practical to focus on something permissible and stay with it, somtimes closing one eye (the side she's on) and turning my head far in the opposite direction so she's blurred in my peripheral vision .  Rav Miller ZT'L says every time we resist even a small temptation, we achieve greatness.  So my brother, working in NYC, you will surely become great!  Hope to merit a seat near you in the Olam Ha'emes.

Shteig on!
Alex