I was just 7 months clean Baruch Hashem. Last night and tonight a fell. May Hashem have mercy on my soul. i dont know what to do now. im so lost. im afraid of tommorow. im afraid of going to sleep. i dont know what to do. can i ever repair the damage? will Hashem ever forgive me?

i am not HASHEM, but from the little i know and the fact that you are here HE has forgiven you.  Take it a day at a time.  Turn your worries over to HASHEM.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

YairA wrote on 07 Dec 2011 05:13:

Slow down. Slow down.  Is this the first aveira you have done in your life?  You werent a perfect tzaddik yesterday, and your not a complete rasha today.  Hashem is patient.  He wants what is best for us.  He doesn't expect us to be tzadikkim overnight.  He knows our struggles, and expects us to work on them.  Working on them means we WILL make mistakes along the way.  If you've been following this forum, you've heard KOT (keep on truckin). That's what you need to do my friend.  Despair will get you nowhere.  Ok, it will get you somewhere, but not where you want to go .

Keep your head up, 7 months - WOW!  Many people on this forum get excited to make a week, or a month.  I once had a similar experience as a bachur.  I made it 205 days and then fell.  I felt awful.  Anyway, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving in the right direction.  Bumps in the road, are just that, bumps in the road.

Hatzlacha!

YairA Welcome brother. Ok you know you need to do something about it but getting carries away is atzas hyetzer. YOu joined our community and that is a great step in moving forward. First things first, Get up and move forward and here we call it Keep on trucking.(KOT) or kadima.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
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GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
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Welcome Yair!

welcome to GYE and welcome to the human condition. you hit a bump on the road? you fell? you did something foolish? join the club.
HKBH knows what you did and what He wants from you is to pick yourself up and move along.

learn what you can from your fall. do you need to stay away from certain activities? do you need to keep busy?

wishing you much hatzlocha
zs

Wow thank you all very much. Great Chizuk. Its just so nice. I would rather die and i will die before i did it again. i Guest that is a good atitude right?

First of all - 7 months is a lot of time - a really lot of time !!
If you were good for seven months you can certainly be good for another seven and even more

But we know that the only way to avoid falling again is not to let the depression of failure pull you down - according to Rebbi Nachman - the YH is just waiting for you fall into depression about your averea - if you don't let it get you down and start a new today you are allready on the path to recovery and success
Hashem is the one that caused you to fail as another test to see if that would break your resolve to be good - do not fail the secondary test and brush yourself off and move on
make sure you learn more today than yesterday - try to have more kavannah in your tefilah
ask hashem to give you Koach to go back to your shemiras enayim ways
you'll get there

Thanks. 17 days clean.

AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!
KUTGW !  KOT!
One day at a time.
What have you added to help you along your journey?
chaimyakov

You look at it as a fall but I look at it like WOW you did 7 months!!!!!!!! You are a lot stronger than most of the strugglers. You must be incredibly strong. Keep fighting!!!! You have it in you thats forsure. Wishing you only hatzlacha with this.

how r u doing?

Gibor 120 you inspired me to tears.... my matzav is very similar to Yair's. I also was clean for a long time and then fell, & your words really made a difference. yishar koach!

How you doin' YairA?  give us an update.

tuesday night april 27, 10th day of the Omer, Tiferes She-be-Gevurah, Harmony within Restraint.

its been 123 days and it all seems like nothing to me.

"its been 123 days and it all seems like nothing to me. "
In what way?
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov