Chevra

Congratulation, we have completed our 5th Week of our Journey to Freedom!!

Previously, we have spent considerable time learning about the mental and physical underpinnings of our disease.

Now, with our entry into Chapter 4 - We Agnostics - we are going to be focusing on the Spiritual root of our addiction.

And the Book is very very clear with us.  We could hardly have any doubt about where the authors are taking us; when they tell us - "But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life - or else!

I'm really glad the authors know how thick my skull is and how I need to be told things in Black&White terms.

And if the above statement isn't enough for me, then they tell me on page 45 - "Well, that's exactly what this Book is about.  Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."

The first time I read this Chapter, I was really offended and thought it a complete waste of time to be reading about - "We Agnostics."  The nerve of them (and my sponsor) to even suggest that I - a very Frum Yid - adherent to religious principles and practices - Shomer Mitzvahs - Supporter of Torah Institutions - Treasurer of the Kollel - that I needed to read this chapter - I thought that I could skip it.

After all, what is an Agnostic?  The dictionary says:
ag⋅nos⋅tic  /?gˈnɒstik
–noun 1. a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.


Wait just a minute.  How could I ever doubt the existence of G-d?  Or that my knowledge of Him is limited to experience?

Then I started looking at my disease and the way that I was so self-centered and manipulative - how resentful I would get when things didn't go my way -  and it made me realize that I was living in Two Worlds.

One World was full of G-d - my Frum world.  I dalvened three times a day - plus all my brachas before eating, - my wearing my tallis and tefillin.  This was a world full of acts of being Frum - and to the outside observer, there was no question I was Frum.

But what about that other World that I lived in?  That Kingdom of Duvid Chaim - where I was the ruler and if anyone got out-of-line, then off with their head.  This was MY World, full of personal pleasure.  Where everything and everyone was there to serve me.

In MY World, there is so much of me, that there certainly isn't any room for G-d!!

In My World, G-d does not exist.  And my knowledge of life is ALL ABOUT my experiences in it.  I am the center of the Universe.  In fact, I AM THE UNIVERSE!

Please join us Monday as we continue to explore the important messages in this Chapter.  And with G-d's help, we will finally find our way Home, our way back to Tatti.

Looking FORWARD
Gut Shabbos,
Duvid Chaim