Chevra:
Another great call today. I'm so pleased that our Group is really opening up more and sharing THEIR STORIES. The key to a successful Fellowship is for everyone to feel safe and honored. With G-d' help and each of you taking a little risk by being vulnerable, you will see that we will build a "Safe Container" that will last a lifetime. Thanks!
As we continue thru Chapter One - Bill's Story - pages 7 thru 9, we see Bill sliding further until he hits rock bottom. We can take away the following important lessons:
- We see how Bill actually starts to get to a place of recovery by realizing that he no longer has the strength to "battle."
- Soon, we see how Bill hates himself - Do you remember our discussion about "shame" which says that "I am a mistake" as opposed to guilt which says that "I made a mistake." Thru guilt, we can move forward and grow. Thru shame, we are stuck and wounded.
- Admitting Powerlessness - NOT just realizing we're powerless; but actually Admitting it. That our addiction has us whipped; is our Master. This is STEP ONE of the Program.
- The First Promise - "to be catapulted into the fourth dimension of existence...to know happiness, peace and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes." We had a lot of discussion about this promise. And how this place is a place of Emes and how this experience of True Joy (sometimes it's the first time we've experienced this in a very long time) is what will be the reason that we can live and operate in our less than perfect society and life - without being sucked back into the life of Counterfeit Joy and our addiction. Why would we want our addiction in the face of True Joy? It just doesn't even compare.
- It is thru the 12 Step Program and Working the Steps that we can find happiness, peace and usefulness.
- Finally, we are introduced to Bill's sober friend (sponsor). We see how when Bill offers him a trigger that before the friend would have fallen for - now he turns it away. Finally, Bill is seeing a man who has the Power of Choice. Here is a man who is "happy in his own skin."
I really appreciate the following "sharing" from one of our participants:
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Ah, the first step: admitting that I'm powerless against my addiction. Such an easy thing to say and so difficult to really believe. My experience tells me that I have no lasting success (and thus no real success), yet a big part of me does not want to admit powerlessness. It's that whole vulnerability thing. How does one get the whole mind to really believe that I am a slave? How does one eliminate those dark little corners where the thought "I am in control" lurks? This is truly a challenge and it points well to how divided my own mind is.
And to top it off, I have to contemplate this without crossing to the wrong side of the awareness-centeredness threshold. I feel like a tight rope walker (and I happen to be a klutz). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Indeed, you have got a real handle on our dilemmas and struggle. We all know about those dark little corners. Remember our discussion about the background noise in our brains that says over and over and over...
"I have a better plan." It certainly fills like a tight rope.
But in time you will see the better
mashal is that of a Room that is filled up with "my stuff." Through this Program, we will do our inventory of "my stuff" - to be followed by the process of getting rid of those items that are spoiled and cluttering my Room. Further, we will be righting the wrongs. And thru this process, we will be
making room! Making Room for HaKadosh Borachu to come into our lives - to fill us up - to bring light into the dark corners. We will be free!
Looking
FORWARD,
Duvid Chaim
PS - Don't forget my homework assignment - Tell us why Parasha Lech Lecha is the "Addicts Parasha"
PSS - Don't forget to keep discovering your A&W Moments.
