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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.

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TOPIC: Questions 2799 Views

Questions 11 Apr 2013 21:35 #204924

Pinchas
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Posts: 30
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I have read through the big book, GYE handbook, and the GYE Attitude book and I believe what they are saying is completely true and necessary for me to break free. However, one thing is bothering me which I feel as though it is an impediment for me moving forward. This impediment is namely that the way in which, I think, the 12 steps want us to do תשובה sounds awfully Christian. My understanding of Jewish תשובה is guilt, regret verbally, and then a promise that you will never do it again. Now I know that this method, i.e. the Jewish method, would not work for me to overcome this lust. However the 12 steps tell us to surrender completely to God and that He will do whatever is correct by Him. This is also the same way that Christians convert to Christianity, I think. I always thought that they converted through accepting ישוע as there lord and savior and bam that was it. And they have the idea of confession which sounds similar to what we do when we slip and especially when we start the program. So while I want to give myself up completely to Hashem this issue is bothering me.

Additionally, we speak about how Hashem gave us free will so that we can break free or continue digging ourselves deeper but its up to us, and we also teach that we need to surrender to Hashem. But when we surrender to Hashem we are giving up our free will?! If we are surrendering it means we are giving up any hope of doing it ourselves meaning we do not stand a chance without him implying we do not have free will......but that is impossible we must have free will. So I am asking is the object of surrendering to Hashem to get ourselves to allow Hashem to replace my old porn or lusting free will with His version of free will, and that is my only ability to act in terms of free will? As in I can only have free will in terms of the choice of who to hand my free will to? But after that I am putting my "free will" up for grabs for whichever "master" I choose?

!ובכל זאת שמך לא שכחנו נא אל תשכחנו

Re: Questions 11 Apr 2013 21:45 #204927

TehillimZugger OFFLINE Platinum Boarder לבד הנשמה הטהורה Posts: 2446 Karma: 34	Rabbi Twerski has written a lot on this subject, Rabbi Shais Taub wrote a book on addiction, and this topic has been TOTALLY exhausted here on GYE. See this article at aish over here. See this comprehensive article by Retorno over here.
	?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: Questions 14 Apr 2013 08:11 #205095

Pinchas OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 30 Karma: 0	whats rabbi taubs book?
	!ובכל זאת שמך לא שכחנו נא אל תשכחנו

Re: Questions 20 Apr 2013 00:18 #205625

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	www.amazon.com/God-Our-Understanding-Spirituality-Addiction/dp/1602801533/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366402835&sr=1-1&keywords=god+of+our+understanding+jewish+spirituality+and+recovery+from+addiction
	Last Edit: 20 Apr 2013 00:21 by inastruggle.