as posts go that post is worth at least a 'Ben'

thanks

I know, I know...but I'll make do with a Ulysses or even just an Andy....

how does a 'choshuve chasidishe yingerman' know so much about the presidents?

some money trivia: do you know why Ulysses looks so dour on the 50-bill?









during the Civil War he was stuck on the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon, Woodford is made in the South, duh

sorry, hijack over

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 03 Jan 2011 19:36:


That's a silly question for somone who's been here on GYE as long as you have....

It's got a decent answer though...which will have to wait until I finish my nightly blettel gemara...
ZemirosShabbos wrote on 03 Jan 2011 19:42:


ROFL!

Uncle ulysses was a gezinter shikker

Do u know where u.s.g. Is berried (buried)?

der tzion fin Ulysses is in Grant's Tomb

er hut faint gehat yidden, vaiste fin dem?

I heard it's a segulah to drive by on the West Side Highway and chuck dead possoms at his tziyun 40 days straight...

Yeah, that way you get rid of all the dead possoms smelling up your car...

Baduk U'Menussah

Well, here we are truckin' down the EYE-90....

Day #5

Here's the play by play

BOB:Back again at GYE Stadium. So here we are bottom of the twelfth, seventh game of the World Series, Guards have got men on second and third , two outs...Lusters have 13 and White Hats 10...It doesn't get more intense than this Phil, the winner takes all and the loser... up comes Rob Hagone  to the plate. Rob had a double and two home runs today, he's on fire... catcher calls for a time out and goes out to the mound...pitcher Jose Yetzeroni nods his head...I don't believe it... he's throwin' them high and wide... an intentional walk....

PHIL: I guess Yetzeroni doesn't care if the bases are loaded, he's scared of Hagone today and wants to get to the next batter who's on deck...Ben Durdayah... he's counting on the fact that he's a leftie and hoping to get him with his famous split finger- middle finger -fast-curve-breaking-ball. The Guards look furious, they were counting on their veteran heavy hitter to get them out of the mud...And folks there you have it, we'll probably be seein' y'all by the post game show within the next two minutes....with another missed opportunity story for the hapless White Hats...

BOB: OK, Ben steps up to the plate...You know Phil, that Ben has had some good years but lately he's really been in a slump...and the pitch...a swing and a miss...strike one

PHIL: The wind up, delivery, far and wide. Ben D. is 1-1, and the pitch....wow...that almost grazed his stomach....2-1.....Yetzeroni seems to be gettin' agitated...

BOB:And the pitch...a bit ouside...Ben takes a chop at it...it's goin' up up up....really close to the pole...Foul tip...and the count is 2-2 for old Durdy....and the pitch...ball 3....the sweat is pouring down Yetzeroni's face...he didn't want to see himself in this position...Ben's hangin' in there...The crowd is on their feet making noise like a jet plane before take-off... you could cut the tension here with a spoon

PHIL: And the pitch....OHMIGOSH....I don't believe it that must be 100MPH on the radar....A swing and a....IT IS HIGH...IT IS FAR... it is going...going GONE!!! A grand slam homerun....I don't believe it...he broke the bat on this one and still hit it way out of the park....the fans are goin' wild....Ben Durdayah saves the day...And the final score is Guards 14 Lusters 13...

BOB: V'hayah H' L'melech Al Kol Ha'Aretz WOW! Yetzeroni seems to have fainted...paramedics are running out to the pitcher's mound, but they can't get there... I think they're gonna get trampled by the fans charging the field...Oh well, maybe he's dead...the hundreds of police officers here can't hold them back...Durdy's surfing on the crowd's heads....

PHIL: Well you've heard it here folks, the Guards have finally done it thanks to a totally unexpected Grand Salami by Ben Durdayah in the bottom of the twelfth....Please stick with us for the post game show after the following commercials...

BOB: This telecast of the GYE Guards has been brought to you by our proud sponsors: BARDY'S TRUCKING, EYCE CREAM, and of course WOODFORD, the official drink of GYE, who would like to remind you that friends don't let friends truck drunk or surf the net unfiltered.

I think that the Nimshal is self understood, but in case anyone doesn't understand I'll bl"n post it later.

move over, John Sterling...  ;D

Ben, that was super!

You all know what chassidus says about night....brrrrr,

Maybe that's why things happen around Ma'ariv time.

But as R' Tzvi Mayer says [u]HaMaariv Aruvim, Me Darf Zeeees Machen (SLAM!) Di Alle (JUMP!) Finstere (POUND!) Matzuvim (BANG!)!

So, the crafty old YH tries a new tack:

B"h, B"h you're doing fine now.... Yooooooooooooiiiy, was last week terrible....Yoooooiiiiiy Vi Nemt Mehn Zich Tshivah Tze Tihn......

HOLD ON THERE JUST ONE SECOND!!!

This sounds familiar....Hey, Atzvus! That's it...He's trying to suck me into Atzvus! HMMM.....

Let's see if I can use some of the tools I've learnt from the Holy Chabeera at GYE....

BenD: Yetzer, I'm going to wish you what I would only wish my worst enemy,
WHY DON'T YOU FIND AN UNFILTERED, UNRESTRICTED, UNCENSORED WI-FI ACCESS POINT AND P*** YOURSELF TO DEATH. AND WHEN YOU ENTER INNOCENT WORDS LIKE "BEN DURDAYAH GYE" IN YOUR GOOGLE, MAY YOU BE SENT TO THE FARTHEST REACHES OF CYBERWORLD AND DROWN IN A CESSPOOL OF INMORALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

YH: Is that a nice way to speak to your best friend ever, we've been doing everything together since you were a nine year old shnook!

BenD: Why Yetzer'l, Isn't that just what you've always wished for me? Even when your "shprach" is Atzvus related, in the end...isn't that where your road always led?

GO P*** YOURSELF!!!!!

And the poor devil tucked his tail in between his legs and slank off into the darkness, lurking in the shadows of a nearby building, waiting for a second chance.

As he went away, I heard him muttering to himself, "What happened to that GYE (pun intended)? Oh well, it's a tough taphkid -but someone's gotta do it...maybe I'll have better luck next time. Gee I could use a good shot of Woodford. A shame my friends have no taste in bourbon. Hey, is that a computer over there....? Maybe I'll just see if...."

There may very well be a next time, but I'm not there yet. I'm just trying to live my new 'tude one moment at a time....

Bye for now, and KOT with a

Ben Durdayah

What's your 20?

ben durdayah wrote on 04 Jan 2011 12:13:


Hillarious!!  ;D

Ben

U were doing more at english than varffing mirantzen on laggvikkelles

Guard: Thanks for the compliment.

Rage: ROFL!

Be'emes it must be 15 years since I lost heard a play by play but you're so right....

I think that there must be a special school somewhere where these guys go to learn how to say the stupidest things. Or else, it's just the fact that they have to talk faster than they can think -which may not be so fast altogether -to avoid 'dead air'.

It's a real mussar haskel for us on what happens to people who talk for the sake of talking...

Rebbe: You're starting to catch on B!

Ich hab moire az di vest shoin tzi-treffen vehr ich bin b'emes....

You know the goody goody mit de Ketzaleh brillen who was the only one who listened to the teacher; and the only yingele who graduated from Cheyder (and Yeshiva Ketanah and Yeshiva Gedolah) who knew how to write anything in English besides his name.......

So I'd beter to riding lik dees to brotecding mine ID, rrite?

NOT!

I may be a recovering addict, but I've still got some self respect. Or maybe it's pinkt fahkert...

I've still got some self respect, so I'm trying to be a recovering addict. Or maybe it's pinkt fahkert...

I want to regain my self respect, by becoming a recovering addict.

Whatever.

This is like the famous ma'aseh of the Heiliger Tzanzer Roov, der Divrei Chaim Zy"a who read the words 'Makel Livneh' in Parshas VaYetzei in about eight different ways -and all of them were right.

Any way you read that sentence I wrote, it's true.


Besides, I didn't need to toss any wimpy oranges at Mr. Heimowitz, I designed my own laser guided rocket propelled GRAPEFRUIT LAUNCHER.

Heh, top that Billy!

B -you're my Rebbe,

KOT!!!

PS I can still use the launcher for 'possoms on a good day.

E.