I hope to write more about my own experiences soon (last week was a little lesson in "Al Tiftach Peh l'Soton" for me), but for the moment I have another question. What is the best way to approach helping someone else who has this same struggle? I have a relative (in his late teens) from Bnei Brak who seems to have gotten trapped (judging by what has been found on my grandmother's computer which he regularly comes to use, often staying overnight). Someone had the good sense to install K9 but he still can d/l anything he wants through file-sharing programs (and now his guard is up, he carries stuff on his own hd). I don't think any of his immediate family members would know how to confront him. I don't have much contact with him, but I was considering getting in touch on the phone, and revealing my own struggles (if that would be beneficial), and trying to help him out. It could drive him more underground though, and follow up would be difficult since I don't really have easy frequent contact with him. Are there any resources I could point him to (perhaps anonymously) in EY? (Preferably in Hebrew)

I have a great idea of how you can help him and help yourself too. There is no more powerful a tool to break free from these things like "accountability". It is the hiding and secrecy which makes it so hard to recover, always thinking that no one knows anyway. If you can convince him to be your partner, being that you are struggling too, and tell him that "we both know deep down that we need to stop, but we also both know how powerful the Yetzer is and how hard it is", then maybe he'll agree. Tell him you NEED him to help you, and he NEEDS you too. Here's what you can do to make this work:

1) Commit to each other full secrecy. Tell him that this stays completely between you and him.
2) Commit to tell each other only the FULL truth and nothing but the truth, no matter what. Otherwise it won't work well.
3) Make up a time at least once a week to talk.

This will be a very powerful tool for BOTH of you. And there can be nothing that gives Hashem greater pleasure than when two Jews sincerely come close to him and Mechazek each other in this battle. Also, see the story of R'Amram Chasid here, and tell it to him too!

If he can read English, send him to our site. I don't know of Hebrew websites, although you can take some great inspiration for him from these Hebrew PDF booklets if you want:

tikunhabrit.com/Books/SCHAR_ONESH_SHEMIRAT_ENAIM-H.pdf
tikunhabrit.com/Books/TIKKUN_HABRIT_BERESHIT-H.pdf
tikunhabrit.com/Books/ginzay-hamelech.pdf
tikunhabrit.com/Books/rashbi-bris2.pdf

Also, we are hopefully starting soon a "live" 12-step group in Israel for frum people. I don't know if this is Shayach for him, and I also don't know where, Jerusalem or Bne-Brak... but if it is Shayach, let me know. When I have more details, I'll fill you in.

May Hashem give you both divine strength to overcome the Menuval and give him your hearts!

First I would actually try to anonymously send him a link to this site. Maybe that would help him and protect you.

But it sounds like he doesn't know English very well, if at all... So I doubt the site could help him.

Lev Tahar: Hatzlacha Rabba in your amazing chessed project. May that be a zchus for your own battles.

Guard: I never thought I was "addicted" to .... and I still am not convinced, but regardless, I think I am addicted to this websight. Every time I get on the computer this forum is the first place I turn. (Perhaps that means I am in fact addicted to ... but who knows.)

Thanks for spending what must be every minute of your time giving us the chizuk that you do.

Chasdei Avos

Rabbi Twerski once defined for me "addictions" as any behavior that you know is bad for you and that you want to stop, but somehow you keep falling back into it (even if there are great spaces of sobriety in between).

Lev Tahor, did you speak to your nephew. If he's interested I can try to help him via email.

Can I just add that it is impossible to convince anyone to get help unless they feel trapped and desperate themselves, If they are not desperate they will deny their problem and get angry at you.    However, if he is feeling trapped then you can do him a great favor by finding him the help he needs.