when you're struggling with a real person in your life, it takes a lot of work to find the right balance between not going out of your way to see her/spend time with her on the one hand and avoiding them at all costs on the other.

I think to zealously avoid them altogether continues to feed the impression that she is special, that she is somehow more powerful than an ordinary human. The trick, I believe, is not be scared of having to interact with her (if necessary), to view her as a normal human being who is not a goddess. As Rashi says in this week's sedra (somewhere in shishi) 'techilas nefila, nisa - the beginning of a fall is running scared'. Just be normal!

This balance is something that I am struggling with this week...

This balance is something that I am struggling with this week...

The mouse made the followin' quote on SB Sr.'s thread:

"How much of the giving that I do, is for the sense of satisfaction I get when the recipient says thanks?"

It'sI a good barometer for those of us that claim to be givers.

No wonder this mouse is honest!

cordnoy wrote on 23 Feb 2017 21:23:

I don't know if that makes us "non-givers". The person who can give to others - truly not for any sense of satisfaction in the thanks, - is at a very high level indeed. The rest of us can be 'givers' on a lower level.

Hi guys, just wanted to share that I went to my 1st live meeting tonight. It was such a powerful experience, I only wish I had done it a long time ago! I will certainly be going back for more pG.

a random assortment of my thoughts:

Since I've joined GYE bH, I bounce back a lot quicker than I used to after a fall, Im able to treat it as a passing glich in the overall trend rather than the overall trend.

I am by nature an anxious worrying type and since joining Ive been much calmer and more relaxed.

Ive started to accept that it is a lifelong journey of progression and Im not going to recover from one day to the next, which in turn helps me to get back up after a fall and keep going.

My last few falls started when I was alone with nothing to occupy me, on the computer in college, driving around by myself (the streets in the summer...) or frustrated that my wife is having trouble becoming tehora.

My therapist (who is a rabbi and was trained in addictions by rabbi abraham j twerski) told me about about a book of rabbi twerskis where he says that a lot of addictions are caused by a lack of spirituality - he calls it spirituality deficiency syndrome. My last good runs (36 & 21 clean days) were from selichos through succos & pesach and he reckons that Im craving spiritual highs and turn to lust when theres a void. He suggested to think of ways to increase my 'jewish highs'. Im not enjoying my night seder (im in law school during the day) and as its my only proper seder its very frustrating that its not fulfilling so Im gonna think about changing that around. He also suggested appreciating life, taking 10 minutes a day to appreciate the sunset or trees or colours in the sky or something to make it real - if you've got something real that your enjoying, it keeps you further away from fantasy.

When I have a productive day Im much calmer and in control, if Im not productive i suppose i get restless and frustrated which makes me more susceptible.

summary (sort of..) when Im spiritually fulfilled, productive & occupied im ok, but there are gonna be times that im alone, bored depressed, frustrated, unoccupied and spiritually low and I have to think of ways to protect myself then.

if anyone is still reading after that monologue - you deserve a medal !! thanks for listening and any thoughts, suggestions, advice would be really welcome and encouraged - have a great day !