Thanks for the update! It's nice to see you around here again!

Hi Guys

Just wanted to share something. I am bH still going clean, today is 72 days. Tonight was supposed to be a special night with my wife as I took the day off work tomorrow. It was supposed to be a nice long weekend. Anyways, she woke up this morning unwell and tonight isn't going to be special in the way that we planned.

Probably because of the disappointment and looking after the kids by myself most of the day, I was feeling very lustful this evening. I even made a list in my head of my favourite clips that I miss the most, which I haven't seen for a few months.

I was going to be out for 45 mins or so, for mariv and a bit of learning afterwards and I didn't know how I could possibly snap out of it. Even if I forced myself to sit in shul for those 45 mins, afterward, I would still be holding in the same place. Feeling alone and unconnected.

I forced myself to go and while I was there, a few people came up to me because I leigned yesterday and they either wanted to say how they enjoyed it or ask my advice on trop or share a vort connected with the trop. Bekitzur, it made me feel validated and important, connected and fulfilled and totally took away the urge for lusting!

It just really brought home to me, in true A & W style, that I just have to do what I am supposed to do, my hishtadlus, and Hashem will take care of the rest!

Mouse,

Thank God that you knew about your disappointment in the beginning of the day.
It is much worse when it happens at night or bshaas maaseh.

I am in a good mode now, but if someone would tell me to prepare a date night with wife for a "special" time...uh uh...not me. Sorry.

This does not mean to say I wouldn't go for a walk, talk, coffee, or such; but preparing for a special night...I will avoid like the plague.

b'hatzlachah

an honest mouse wrote:


Thanks for sharing. And B"H for the A & W that followed. I guess Hashem felt that you deserved that special deliverance.

Interestingly. I had a similar situation recently, where I was looking forward to a 'good night', and my wife happened to become unwell, which ruined our plans. B"H I managed the situation by telling myself that here is a good opportunity to practice the concept which we all need to learn: That sex is optional, and we will not die if we don't have it. Also, I told myself, why not make the best of it and get a good night's sleep instead.

As the saying goes: When it's not the way I want, then I want the way it is.

Hatzlacha,

MT

Dear מייזעלע;
I Identify myself with this struggle. My wife (her honor, the REBETZIN) was away for a good couple of days. I kept myself strong on and on, until... yes you got it! the day she came back! I had then a terrible fall, that i'm still in the process of recovery... B"H today is my Day 8.
What bothered me most, was the fact that after being strong so long, i alaready felt safe and smelled the sense of sobriety, i still had the NISAYON.
A gorgeous word of wisdom i found on this matter, was posted in THE GROISE SHTEIB Post No. #222241, #223097, #223098, And on.
HAVE A SAFE TRIP!
(Dear Friends! What needs more translation for the english speaking among us, my yiddish or my english?... )

was that last post English or Yiddish?

Anything going on here?

Maybe the cat scared away the mice?

Blind Beggar wrote:


Sorry, but I BEG to differ.
The real winner is the won who 'scores' now....that is it!
K'hayom Ha-zeh!
If the game would be breathin', we couldn't say that if you breath for 20 hours in the day, you have more hours of breathin'...so you have won!
I kinda like that mashal (although I have a slight pircha).
Bottom line....we gotta win now!
That is what counts.

b'hatzlachah

Hi guys. I'm back!
BH I'm still in recovery and only not posting for lack of time but still following what's going on from afar.

I just wanted to share that I recently started using the Tapshic method to avoid going past a place that always triggers me and it really helps, it's like it switches an off button in the brain and I would highly recommend for any non high level addict.

On another note, I recently saw that Shmeichel mentioned about problems with sisters in law. Does anyone know where that is?

Wishing everyone a meaningful Elul!

an honest mouse wrote:


Thank you

Welcome back

here is a thread about family stuff.
In Laws
Email me (thenewme613@hotmail.com) for a bit of a pirush.

an honest mouse wrote:

It's an epidemic!

Thanks Cordnoy and Bigmoish.

Cordnoy - I tried the link but it tells me I don't have permission to access the page...

Bigmoish - I guess a wife's sister is the easiest person to develop a struggle with if you live nearby because she is usually the non blood relative that you see the most often in the most informal setting. I would imagine it is quite a common problem.

an honest mouse wrote:


Mouse, send me an email please.

hi HonMouse! nice to see you again