Waddaya mean no big deal ??!!  I think whenever we guys who still have lots to learn about how to treat our wives properly do somehting like that it is a big deal.  At least from our perspective if we care enough to make an effort sincerely it is a means of expressing love. Am i missing something...?

Whats your point?

HY

sorry dov, she appreciated both actions and it definately brought us closer together - "devorim hayots'im min halev nichnosim el halev" i tayna (humbley of course) that devorim can also mean things. I did something out of pure love for her to connect to her and she felt it and it did connect us. bH

still your grateful and humble talmid,

ahm

dov wrote on 30 Nov 2011 19:19:
an honest mouse wrote on 01 Dec 2011 00:01:


Dov, you can make the check payable to Mr. Mickey Mouse, Disney World, Florida alternatively I'm sure that AHM will allow you to send it to GYE

Eisner is mochel.

Eisner was fired by the Disney board a loooong time ago. 

Anyways we have been talking all along about disney anyways.  A fantasy life that has no basis in reality. 

Real life is a lot more sobering and grim than disneyworld, but living all along in fantasy is even worse as you get nowhere and only deeper in a pit. at least once you face reality you can make this real world into a better place. sorry my rambling...

Dov, you're gonna need 10 days jury duty for this

Hashem Yaasfeni wrote on 01 Dec 2011 14:26:


You call that 'rambling'?

For me that's just a belch...

dov wrote on 01 Dec 2011 18:58:

i'm moichel, nice comic strip uaj!

bH I'm pleased to report I'm still marching in recovery, I've just now gone the 2nd longest amount of time without m*** & almost no lusting whatsoever in my life (aside from till age 11) - around 5 weeks. The longest time being around 50 days around the start of my marriage.

I feel now that my default has changed. It used to be that as long as i was with people and/or accountable somehow i would be alright, but as soon as i was on my own, i fell straight back to it. Now when I'm on my own, I don't fall straight into it - it has been like this for the last 5 weeks bH - I get on with real life, enjoying some good new baruch levine music, learning, reading about gedolim or getting on with chores. It's a lot more fullfilling bH!

In short, I think somehow, what dov describes has happened. Instead of b'etzem wanting to unzip my trousers (US = pants) but trying really hard to keep myself in situations where it wasn't possible. I have now, over time with perserverance, prayer, support from recovery buddies and finding spirutually fullfilling enjoyment elsewhere, changed my life so that it is becoming one where i dont want/need to unzip my trousers (see above for translation) bH.

There is one issue I think I ought to sort out though. At work I don't have any accountability on my computer and there have been a handful of days over the last 5 weeks where I have slipped a little.

Does anyone have a suggestion what would be the most appropriate thing for me. I am but a simple employee, my computer belongs to the firm. I don't want to interfere with my firm's computer system/internet or have them realise that I have it really coz it will raise awkward questions. Something quite unobtrusive...

Thanks! 

I hear you on the work issue.  The only filter I have at work is the one they impose, which is better than nothing, but if I want to find stuff, I can look at plenty of stuff that doesn't meet their definition of porn, but is still poison for me.

To quote dov, (I think).  The only filters that work are the ones we don't test.  If dov didn't say it, I am saying it.

Hatzlacha!

I can't use my computer for entertainment. Does that work for you? My curiosity is the greatest enemy I have, and the surrender of my curiosity is one of the main ways I connect with my G-d nowadays...and how I am growing up.

Does that help?

I know exactly what you mean dov about curiosity. It has the potential to be the greatest asset and the greatest threat all at once. I think relinquishing that curiosity is a large part of emunah.

About the comp, i hear you - but even though that is the attitude to have and i do take that attitude as far as i can but it's so easy to get carried away in a split second, isn't it prudent to have the protection there lest you slip (rather than it being the essence of your recovery c'v)?

Yeah, 100%.

In the early years of sobriety I had a filter - and ended up looking at porn anyway. So I got rid of my internet at home completely for about eight years. Then we got internet at home again about two or three years ago, mainly for GYE. I did not have a filter at all, and had no problem whatsoever.

Clearly the only filter that is fool-proof is the one that is not tested.

But one day I realized that not having a filter makes me pretend that I do not need one. That I am safe and strong...which I am neither. So I installed K-9 on my laptop.

And it has never been tested it yet.

B"H.

dov wrote on 08 Dec 2011 20:41:

I tested it.... that's how i got caught :-[.

Don't bother testing it, it doesn't work  :-[.