an honest mouse wrote on 05 Jul 2011 14:05:


"I just want to escape it all."

OK, so what exactly are you trying to escape? Please write it out on paper, if you can. Paper much, much is better than the computer for getting our insides out (for most people, I think).

Great idea Dov, I am going to do that, try and write down all that is bothering me, all that I want to control and to change - then at least I'll know what to let go of...

BTW, my firm just totally changed track and offered me to stay on even though they will not give me the training I need. But at least I still have parnosoh for the time being and the pressure is off while I look for training.

The annoying thing is, my stress levels have been building over the last couple of weeks and my urges and lusting has been building in tandem (obviously) and now the reason for it has mostly gone away and all the acting out and lusting and not really living my life was all for nothing (it's obviously for nothing anyway - but even an insane addict can see it this way!).

If we give up trying to control every aspect of our lives, the ride is much less stressful and the outcome is the same anyway - so what's the point of stressing?!

I still have a long way to go, but I have already come a long way, bH.

Good to see you.
Keep up the positive attitude.

an honest mouse wrote on 08 Jul 2011 14:26:


great to hear. and yes, you have come a long way, remember that and appreciate it.

so you are giving a kiddush this week?

have some woodford in my honour zemmy!

Have a great shabbos everyone

an honest mouse wrote on 08 Jul 2011 16:04:

will do!

have a gevaldigggggggger shabbos

l'chaim!

dats dee zpirit!

hi AHM, how are you doink?

Hey - just wanted to drop by and say hello!

hi zemmy and sb thanks for dropping by and saying hello! To be honest (as my name indicates) I am not doing that great. I'm stuck in a bit of a viscious cycle and I'm not quite sure where the begining is, ie where to do the work.

I have no drive in my job, I seem to be happy to just sit back and do my work slowly and relax a lot at the same time. But I am stuck on a low salary at the bottom of the pile. I should be either sending my cv (read resume) all over trying to get the training job i need or working hard here to impress and change their mind. But I'm not, I'm doing the bare minimum to get by and I've always been like that.

That situation makes me depressed, as I'm not progressing and not supporting my family as well as I could/should be. That makes me prone to acting out which in turn takes away my drive for success.

What came 1st, the chicken or the egg? acting out or lack of good job, both of them seem to be dragging me down.

I should write down what is bothering me, just spill the beans on paper like dov said, i just havent had much spare time recently... but maybe then i will know how to proceed...

Thanks for asking, sorry if you weren't prepared for the megillah...

an honest mouse wrote on 13 Jul 2011 13:28:


This is your thread. It is the place for you to post what's on your mind & heart. To spill your guts and release the pent-up emotions & tension.


Feel free to do so!






We're listening......

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 13 Jul 2011 14:37:

exactly!

(it's also better than reading a first-step worksheet to the wife, as someone recently proposed...)

Spill as many beans as you like.
Just keep the guts inside where they belong.

wishing you a great shabbos!