Well done! Keep on rocking!

an honest mouse wrote on 21 Oct 2010 22:36:


BEAUTIFUL!!!

you did it (again!).

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 21 Oct 2010 15:24:


Yes, that was a brilliant idea... To make a neder to do a bunch of positive things before acting out, and if you don't - you'll have to do something even HARDER, like telling a Rav... See chizuk e-mail #865.

thanks kutan & guard! ill check it out...

since everybodys wonderful chizuk to me, i spoke something out with my partner and i realise that i cant allow myself to start lusting even a little bit, coz im totally powerless. So ive been working on step 1 over and over and its really helped bH.

today, as i was walking to mincha, i noticed my neighbour walking with her family across the street, out of the corner of my eye. So, i looked straight ahead and repeated step 1 over and over and reminded myself that i cant even start looking. I felt a compulsion to look for about 10 seconds and it was really hard, but then, all of a sudden i just felt free, totally free, like the ropes had been snapped and the burden had been removed, i hadnt looked and i felt great! it was beautiful.

Then, at mincha, i got hagboh and i thought 1stly, wow, im doing this a clean man (on shabbos i im a man not a mouse) and 2ndly i felt like maybe it was a message from Hashem saying,'well done my son, you're finally allowing me to raise you up (as in hagboh), thats all ive ever wanted from you...'

I was out of the house for 40 mins, butt i came home so much closer to my wife and it was 10 seconds that made the difference. 10 seconds of pain set up the rest of the day for serenity and fulfilment, 10 seconds of pleasure wouldve set up a resentful, grumpy unfulfilled rest of the day. what a difference 10 seconds can make!

SWEET!

(someone has to use all caps while Reb b is on vacation!)

(OK NO PROBLEMO)


KEEP ON TRUCKINNNN!!!!

It's good to remember that, and focus on it - being clean, that small sacrifice, makes you happier. Makes you happy.

Drill that into your mind, because the yetzer hora does his best to make us forget that.

Hagboh the mouse, that should go on the "hug" thread ("hugboh"???).  Thanks for "what a difference 10 seconds can make".

1daat wrote on 24 Oct 2010 05:36:


JOKES AND INSPIRATION ON ONE THREAD!!!
thanks 1daat and thanks Honest Man!

:D ;D

im back on the chart!  thanks for everyone's help!

im sorry, the chart didnt last long, i fell today  , i let myself slip last night, i allowed myself to be alone with the computer (even though it has a filter) when i was alone and depressed, i should have switched it off and called a friend...

well i hope ive learnt a lesson for the future, also learned - once i allow myself to slip and start chasing lust, its much harder to surrender and move on.

Dear HM,

If you're really interested in stopping, falling has to hurt more than not falling.  Right now, that doesn't appear to be the case.  What do you say?

i say you're right...

an honest mouse, you are so honest!

If you really want to stop, I suggest that you penalize yourself this time, and then set up short term safeguards for the future, one week at a time.  For example, make a neder that you will give $200 to Tzedaka if you fall for the next week.  That will at least encourage you to postpone falling until such time as the neder expires.  Hopefully, when the neder expires, you'll choose to renew it (it's in your own best interest), but that will be up to you.