Welcome, Guest

Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 705 Views

Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 08:05 #45214

  • me
Thousands of words have been shared on this forum, and many times we have come to the realization that....we want to be good upright "frum" yidden, BUT....are we really really connected to the creator?

  Rabbi Nachman Z"L  teaches in the L'kuteir Moran, that from the pasuk,  Shuvu Alay....v'ASHUV  Aleichem, that we see from this that even Hakadosh Boruch Hu, has a bechina of doing tshuva, (keviyachal).

We see that, who has to do the "returning"....someone who has "left". And, if we do our tshuva first, then Hashem will do his......

So, have we....are we returning to Hashem. I mean, in order to get all of the help that we do need, i.e. let go, and let......,  "let Hashem to the battle for me......." etc etc.   this must mean that we really must return to Hashem first.

Is everything that we do in our daily avodas hashem merely "theoretical", i.e. we are doing it ALL on the outside, and the inside is empty?  Can it really be that we are not at ALL connected to hashem, (almost at all), and then how can we possible really be able to receive his chesed, rachamim, and do it ALL for us?

Am I increasing my avodas Hashem by lengthening my shmoneh esrei? or by shukling more in my shmonei esrai, or by wearing longer tzitzis etc. etc.?????

 Is this what hashem is looking for???  

Are we really, truthfully, honestly, sincerely.......HAPPY to be in hashem's army????

I ask eveyone of you to do just 1 exercise, and report back tomorrow.

When you are in Shul, with everyone else in the minyan, where ever you may find yourself. Standing there along with all of hashem's other servents. STanding there adorned in Teffilin, and Tzitzis. Take a good long look around the room, at everyone's face, expression etc. What do you see?  Do you see happiness to start the NEW day? Like it says in the Shulchan Aruch, to get up like a lion.  Do you see optimisim or do you see,   anxiety, worry depression......?

Just curious. Please let me know.
Last Edit: 13 Jan 2010 08:08 by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 12:16 #45233

w'ere so far away . i don't even know if we can get there anymore . i don't know if i ever really believed  in |H" . i don't know if i ever really dovened . i don't know if i ever wil. this is depressing me.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 14:44 #45270

  • me
First, and foremost, please do NOT ever get depressed. The Y"H is not allowed in this post!

We can never ever even get up to Hashem's front door if we are not 100% honest with ourselves. Isn't that what we have been seeing all over this forum...and with Dov, and duvidchaim?.....Honesty!

Honesty is the key to the front door. There will be more doors, and more keys along the way. But, if you can say that "I honestly believe that I haven't ever really davened to hashem, and maybe even to believe in him...this is fantastic information for you. (BTW, I don't believe that you are alone) I am sure that ALL of us on this forum DO believe in Hashem, but.......only theoretically, and I am sure that this is what you are referring to by not believing in him. 

  Is Hashem just a "segula" c"v, and I ask him for this, and that, give me this, help me with that? OR, just like a relationship with one's spouse which takes lots of work over several years, do I also need to work on building a REAL personal relationship between ME, and MY creator......which has NOTHING to do with other people's connection with him, or how they view their connection.;

    I am davening to hashem for 25 years...."please Hashem give me parnasah....please Hashem remove this taiva from me.....please.....
.....and Hashem could answer. Why are you asking me to give you so many things......you don't even BELIEVE in me!!!!!

Do we think that it is insane to make our very first teffilah to Hashem...

"Please Hashem, master of the universe, help me to BELIEVE in you. Help me to believe that you really are here with me. And, help me to feel that you are with me."  The more we really believe in Hashem, then the more he comes forward, and speaks to us through clear, and vivid hashgacha.

I am honest to say that I am far away from perfecting my belief in hashem, but i am working on it, and here is a story that happened to me today;

I was in the Meah Shearim area learning in a yeshiva. (now, my shmiras ha'einaim has been on vacation for a while, and I am well aware of it).  As, I was on my way out, a chossid,(the meah shearim type comes over to me, and asks me if I can accompany him to a certain place down the street, because, "I never go anywhere by myself" he told me.
  I never had such a request like this before, but I said "no problem". Off we go down the street, a left, and then we come to a house, and he says I should go with him up the stairs. If the guy is home, then I can leave otherwise, I would still be "on duty" so to speak.
  We are both standing outside a door, and he knocks on the door very lightly, knock, knock knock,......no answer. ....Again, knock knock knock.....no answer, and then he says to "ME", if the door opens, you must be "shomer es ha"anaim".
    All of a sudden the door begins to open, he immediately looks down towards the ground, and he didn't  see that I just "had to" have a look at what it was that I need to be shomer from, and there, at the door, (the door was 85% closed) was a very tnius dik women only showing her face!  And, he knew that there would be a possibility that that his friends wife may open the door, so he gave me the proper warning to be shomer es ha'aniam.
    I was now thanked, and allowed to go my way. It was so clear that Hashem was speaking directly to me, and loud, and clear....Thank YOU Hashem!!!!!

The more we ask him to please "help me to even believe in you", he will start to talk to us. Everything will become less theoretical.



Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 19:58 #45423

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 805 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
lamed vavnik wrote on 13 Jan 2010 12:16:

w'ere so far away . i don't even know if we can get there anymore . i don't know if i ever really believed  in |H" . i don't know if i ever really dovened . i don't know if i ever wil. this is depressing me.


You know, people have asked me a question in the past and I haven't been able to answer them satisfactorily: Why is the Emunah of a Jew who was raised to believe in Hashem and Torah - any better or more real, or require any more sacrifice than the Arab who was raised to believe in His version of G-d and his "Koran"? After all, they too are willing to die for the sake of their G-d? So what makes ours any more "real" to us - or "precious" to Hashem (besides for the obvious fact that ours is simply "right")? In other words, when does Emunah become "real" to a person, instead of just a Jewish version of "Santa Clause" or the Arab version of the "72 virgins"?

I've seen answers to this question discussed in the Ba'al Hasulam, but it's not understandable by everyone... But something Dov wrote to me just yesterday touches on the answer to this... And strangely enough, it seems that Dov picked this up while hanging out in SA with non-Jews! (hey, when a person is desperate enough, they find Hashem in the lowest places! ). Dov wrote:

I have seen enough watered-down versions of the 12 steps, to know that the dependence on G-d that an addict like me needs must be more real than what I had while I was acting out. I wasn't OK with believing and saying stuff like "Hashem, I love you and and I need your help to be sober and useful today", in English (my mameh-loshon) and even with other people around, till I was desperate. I simply did not need to take these ideas as seriously as they really need to be taken, until I became truly desperate. It seems to me that as long as an addict takes either their problem, or G-d, any less seriously that they would take cancer or having a leg cut off, their emunah and bitochon won't really work for the addiction. So I'm not surprised that frum people can also be wacked-out addicts. Normal Torah living in this free and fun day and age just does not demand that we really take Hashem seriously.
Of course, it comes in stages, but it's not so poshut a journey.
Many times I've seen folks basically need to go through:
1- a period of basic emunah in the ideas, while they are acting out and getting deeper in trouble;
2- coming to a program of some sort and learning the ideas/steps, parroting the words of recovery. Sometimes they make it, but if they don't, they often:
3- get the distinct feeling that they were duped - that "Hashem" doesn't really "work".  They won't leave yiddishkeit over it, but they may not get better, either.
I have seen many folks get to this stage. They then either give up on everything and disappear, feeling absolutely positive that their situation is different that that of all other addicts - their situation alone is really really beyond help! I was sure of that many times, but somehow came around, I guess because nothing else worked.
The lucky ones stick with the program and begin giving themselves to a Purpose or Power higher than they are. Like Hashem, for example.
This was my journey. Most frum SA guys that I know go through something like this. They get the crapola beat out of them and finally, finally G-d becomes more than a nice idea, or maybe whatever the jewish version of santa claus or superman is.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 21:40 #45471

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 805 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
I hear what you're saying RATM, good point... I just meant the idea of making "Hashem" real to us.

Until the 12-Steps, I don't know how many goyim ever in history were able to achieve this awareness of Hashem, but for us Jews, that is always what was "supposed" to have set us apart. Maybe Mitzvos like Shabbos helped us get what the goyim couldn't, in a REAL connection with Hashem.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 21:53 #45475

  • me
Why is the Emunah of a Jew who was raised to believe in Hashem and Torah - any better or more real, or require any more sacrifice than the Arab who was raised to believe in His version of G-d and his "Koran"? After all, they too are willing to die for the sake of their G-d? So

Firts of all:

Hashem histakel B'oreisa U'boreh olam.

Our Torah, our emunah, and the emunas avoseina came before ALL other religions.

What ever the goyim have that happens to be correct......they got it from us. The shtus they got (muslims of murdering G-d's children in G-d's name, by being mafkir the 7 b'nei Noach, this they invented themselves. It's all tumah, and sheker. No comparison can be made by the fact that they are willing to die, (and take how many with them) that they have anything. We see in the parsha, Moshe Rabbeinu did the makos, and the mitzriim also did "tricks". They just thought that Moshe Rabbeinu was a better m'kashef than them. But, their's was from kishuf-Tumah, and Moshe Rabbeinu's was from the tzad shel K'dusha.
  The only question would be concerning the 12 steppers talking so much about g-d, i.e.  the level of emunah p'shuta that we for sure should have....why can't we ride our own bicycle?
   This I tried to  answer above by suggesting too too much pilpul-theoretical, and we have used this to mask our theoretical avodah which can not help any of us with this illness. To even fool ourselves, and not see how far we are from even emunah p'shuta.
 We are so busy quoting rishonim, and achoronim ba'al peh on all of shas, and yet we forget to look back at the 10 dibros, ol tachmode, and niuf.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 21:55 #45476

You know, people have asked me a question in the past and I haven't been able to answer them satisfactorily: Why is the Emunah of a Jew who was raised to believe in Hashem and Torah - any better or more real, or require any more sacrifice than the Arab who was raised to believe in His version of G-d and his "Koran"? After all, they too are willing to die for the sake of their G-d? So what makes ours any more "real" to us - or "precious" to Hashem (besides for the obvious fact that ours is simply "right")? In other words, when does Emunah become "real" to a person, instead of just a Jewish version of "Santa Clause" or the Arab version of the "72 virgins"?
i think that is precisely the point and reason our emunah is more real .b/c it IS real . fact .its based in the saychel of our mesoirah and sinai . that makes it more precious to H' and more special and more real than anything else out there. but realize you are saying two different things  . all this has nothing to do w/what it means to ME. thats just what it means .theres the reality , and what it does to/ for you. that emunah is a spiritual mitzius .  all the monopoly money in the world won't buy you what a real dolllar can , but what were looking for  is emunah that changes us down here .emunah for the trenches that can keep us strong and comfort us .  that we have to make real for ourselves . that requires work . and in that point ,as in others , we can have a matsav where RL'  the arabs ,christians ,etc. are better at "making it real for them ",than we are. you can learn something from everybody . from them we can learn how much effort we need to put in .
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 22:01 #45480

  • me
The question is not wether emunah is real or not, the question is:
Do I have any of it?????
Last Edit: by .

Re: Shuvu Alay...V'ashuv Aleichem 13 Jan 2010 22:50 #45503

yes . thats also a mitsius . the question is do you FEEL it?
Last Edit: by .
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.50 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes