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Poll-Did being away from home affect you?
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TOPIC: Poll-Did being away from home affect you? 331 Views

Re: Poll-Did being away from home affect you? 02 Jul 2025 22:12 #438354

  • parev
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eerie wrote on 01 Jul 2025 17:33:
I have heard from a few guys that the freedom they experienced, primarily in EY, the easy access to unfiltered internet it gave them access to, led them to fall deeper into the unhealthy behaviors. I have heard from some others that being in a place where there were many seminary girls wasn't good for them. I am trying to understand if these things are a general issue, or something that some people sometimes experienced. 

Bmchilas Kvod my [once-upon-a-time?!] dear friend Reb Eerie
Even if 100% of people here 'blame' their issue on the freedom and the seminary girls when being away from home - it doesn't reflect the opinion of the thousands that aren't here.
I totally get your wanting a poll, but I don't think GYE is the right place.
I totally only acted out in person - bezchut SA, but at the same time i'm only sober [and possibly still married] bzchut SA.
It was a process and journey. I've grown incredibly the past 4 years in many areas, even as I was having unmentionable encounters at the same time.
I dare to do a poll - Did your problem get worse after the chassuna? - many [myself included] say yes - should we therefore discourage weddings?
30's | Went to rehab | Avid SA'er
Not perfect yet, but a changed person 180 degrees
If you think you know who I am, and want to reach out for further chizzuk, I have nothing to hide in real life and would love to share my ESH with you

Re: Poll-Did being away from home affect you? 02 Jul 2025 22:23 #438357

  • vehkam
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Yes
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.
Last Edit: 03 Jul 2025 01:29 by vehkam.

Re: Poll-Did being away from home affect you? 02 Jul 2025 22:55 #438360

  • cleanmendy
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eerie wrote on 01 Jul 2025 17:33:
I have heard from a few guys that the freedom they experienced, primarily in EY, the easy access to unfiltered internet it gave them access to, led them to fall deeper into the unhealthy behaviors. I have heard from some others that being in a place where there were many seminary girls wasn't good for them. I am trying to understand if these things are a general issue, or something that some people sometimes experienced. 

Most def it can be detrimental. Both points were major pitfalls for me, although I had that In my American yeshiva also to an extent where the Hanhala isn't 'so on top of the Bachurim'.
But In E''Y was Much worse. I could be gone for an entire day without so much as having to explain myself... 

But as an aside point I just heard from a Rav regarding the war now in Eretz Yisroel, we have to be careful not to talk Lashon Hara on Eretz Yisroel, the last time that happened the repercussions were felt for a long time. Instead just to realize that its our pitfall, not the land.
Last Edit: 04 Jul 2025 01:36 by cleanmendy.

Re: Poll-Did being away from home affect you? 02 Jul 2025 23:53 #438364

  • eerie
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My mistake that I spelled out where I was coming from with the question. It brought on the type of comments I was hoping to avoid, as mentioned in my first post. I really don't feel there's a toi'eles in us discussing here whether we think it's truly an issue, or just some people's experience. The only (slight) toie'les would be just from hearing from each guy what his experience was, and getting somewhat of a picture
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com
Last Edit: 02 Jul 2025 23:53 by eerie.
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