If I am not misunderstanding the terminology then yes I would say its very common

ivelt wrote on 16 Mar 2025 23:10:

Ah yes marcophilia. That sweet feeling of being attracted to 13th century explorers.
Sorry. I'm not trying to make leitzunus. I think the reason you didn't get a response is because it doesn't matter very much what flavor of ice cream is on your cone of despair. Yes, many people have different preferences, some more unusual than others. Generally speaking, it don't matter much if you like big people, little people, red people or blue people.
You're still normal, still a good person, and it doesn't affect your chances of recovery. If it's something that preoccupies you or bothers you it certainly may be worth talking over with a professional.

Hatzlacha!

It is important for recovery to understand how a fetish developed so I wouldn't say that the type of fetish is irrelevant. If what I read on Wikipedia, which isn't a reliable medical website, is correct this fetish develops from the need to feel small or big. Someone with a need to feel small can be attracted to big people and someone with a need to feel big can be attracted to small people. It isn't clear to me based on this how someone can be attracted to both. If this were to be the reason for the attraction it would probably be worthwhile to deal with the underlying reasons for the need to feel this way. It would help you make sense of the fetish which would then help you to be able to overcome it. I am writing based on what I read on Wikipedia and what I heard about how fetishes are treated but I am not a professional and I may be wrong.

you're right

Thank you

I can't post the details before asking for permission but ivelt isn't talking about something illegal. There is a certain scenario which when he sees it, it triggers him very much. It is similar to the fetish posted by someone else that when he sees shoes dangling or bare legs he gets triggered. I am not even sure why he is insisting on finding someone with macrophilia or microphilia even if that should be his diagnosis. In my opinion, his fetish would be treated the same way as the fetish I described about dangling shoes. It doesn't involve acting out with other people.

The post I was referring to was deleted. 

We are talking about someone that gets triggered when he sees two siblings walking together and the younger one is taller than the older one. There is nothing illegal about this. Most fetishes are similar to this one and they are not illegal.

vehkam wrote on 08 Apr 2025 02:44:

@ivelt ^

The first thing I want to say is that it feels so validating to be part of this incredible online community. I’ve been struggling with a particular fetish for pretty much as long as I can remember, and it’s been driving me up the wall that I’m attracted to and MB’ing to these seemingly “stupid” things. 

I went to see what you would call a mainstream therapist, and after many long, aggravating months of him trying to get me to “open up,” I finally explained my situation. He then told me that there isn’t much I can do about it and that I must “get comfortable being uncomfortable.” I left there still struggling, except now I had discovered that I’m not the only one in the world with a fetish, and that I would indeed still be able to procreate (something I had doubted after hearing it from some misguided rabbeim until I went to see him)

I’m now around 20 years old and have anxiety, depression, and ADHD, which may have come from—or at the very least, worsened because of—this whole fetish thing. I want to get married and build a normal life but feel like I can’t move forward until this is corrected. I feel too burnt to see another therapist and don’t feel capable of approaching my parents to explain that I would need a sex therapist. I’m feeling stuck and really want to start living a healthy life.

healingyid wrote on 07 May 2025 05:38:

Shalom Brother,

I'm sorry to hear that you have been carrying all that. 

I don't know what you do or don't need, but if you feel comfortable reaching out to someone, an amazing mentor here, HashemHelpMe (HHM) can be reached at michelgelner@gmail.com and he may be able to give you some life-changing hadracha.

Hatzlacha and Kol Tov

I suggest that aside for reaching out to HHM you should also reach out to einanilimili who is dealing with a fetish and has lots of experience. He posts on this thread and on other threads related to fetishes and he helped many people.

@healingyid there are usually underlying reasons why a person develops a specific type of fetish. a sex addiction therapist is probably the best person to help you understand and deal with it.

in general eroticizing certain things or acts comes from a distorted understanding of healthy sexual attraction.

Until you have the resources to see a qualified sex addiction therapist, it may be helpful to you to try to learn as much as possible about healthy relationships and sexual attraction. This can be done by reading books on relationships and attraction that can be purchased on amazon and by connecting with the chevra on this site that have a clear understanding of healthy relationships.

i enjoyed "Hold me tight", "wired for dating" and "Eight Dates - essential conversations for a lifetime of love"