Dear I want to Change!
First of all, the fact that you WANT to change is what makes the difference!
Hashem only needs us to keep on fighting and not giving up./ As long as we continue and we keep moving, we are winning. Of course we want to lose less battles and win more. And for that we need tools how to rewire our brains properly and we need to strengthen our minds to not fall for every trigger. But the only thing that would really put us in the dog house is giving up.
As i wrote in a previous message, I completely understand you. SSA is insane. And in a lot of ways much harder then regular SA. Unfortunately, i see the rate of guys struggling with this issue growing. There can we a few reasons to that, but we need to learn how to deal with it.
Keep on fighting and climbing higher.