I love you!!! Hashem loves you!!! Keep on fighting brother!!! Even if you fall every day God loves you!!!!

Dear I want to Change! 
First of all, the fact that you WANT to change is what makes the difference! 
Hashem only needs us to keep on fighting and not giving up./ As long as we continue and we keep moving, we are winning. Of course we want to lose less battles and win more. And for that we need tools how to rewire our brains properly and we need to strengthen our minds to not fall for every trigger.  But the only thing that would really put us in the dog house is giving up. 

As i wrote in a previous message, I completely understand you. SSA is insane. And in a lot of ways much harder then regular SA. Unfortunately, i see the rate of guys struggling with this issue growing. There can we a few reasons to that, but we need to learn how to deal with it. 

Keep on fighting and climbing higher. 

Dearest sytv yakcov chancy,
Your words are so meaningful to me. Yet I have a hard time connecting now. Me, a tzaddik?!? ha. Not right now. Fell again today. Not really trying. BeH I will get out of this. But right now Im just sitting in the doghouse. Not sure what happened, but my desire to change for the better sort of left me for now. I guess until the guilt builds up enough....God You love me. I know it , I believe it. not that its ok for me to sin. But please Help me break out of this trend. Tomorrow Im going back to work BeH, so hopefully routine will get me back into place somewhat. right now Im just idling not being productive, which breeds bad things.
From when I first logged on to GYE about a year ago, I had a lot of positive changes in my life BH. Long streaks i never wouldve dreamed of. Not sure what happened all of a sudden that my will and desire to change left me. 
Please friends daven for me. I hope that down the line when Im flying away from all this p&m it will be a chizuk that its possible to escape all this even when all seems lost.

stumbling, tumbling, down and down.
Looking for the rope, I hear voices of encouragement...
but I already stopped looking.
Why? Im not sure myself.
Getting dirty in the mud is only satisfying temporarily,
BeH I will get out of this.
Please dont leave me here