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Guilt and shame
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Guilt and shame 168 Views

Guilt and shame 10 Mar 2025 02:40 #432554

  • radiantjaguar81
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Hello everyone. Im a baal tshuva, and ive been fighting with p&m for many years. I now have a girlfriend (our relationship is full shomer negiah) and after 5 months of being totally clean I fell with p&m. I dont know how to deal with this situation, i feel really depressed and sad, considering that in a few months we are getting married. I dont want to hurt her, and i dont know if its a good thing to tell her my struggles and difficulties that may cause her to leave me.

Re: Guilt and shame 10 Mar 2025 14:30 #432579

  • captain
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Telling her is very risky and you need guidance from a pro to see whether you should and how exactly to do it if yes. I suggest getting in touch with HHM.
Also check out Appendix A in the back of The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation for more on how to deal with guilt.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Guilt and shame 10 Mar 2025 22:01 #432603

  • radiantjaguar81
  • Current streak: 25 days
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captain wrote on 10 Mar 2025 14:30:
Telling her is very risky and you need guidance from a pro to see whether you should and how exactly to do it if yes. I suggest getting in touch with HHM.
Also check out Appendix A in the back of The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation for more on how to deal with guilt.

Thank you very much!! Im new here, could you tell me who is HHM?

Re: Guilt and shame 11 Mar 2025 13:39 #432629

  • captain
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radiantjaguar81 wrote on 10 Mar 2025 22:01:

captain wrote on 10 Mar 2025 14:30:
Telling her is very risky and you need guidance from a pro to see whether you should and how exactly to do it if yes. I suggest getting in touch with HHM.
Also check out Appendix A in the back of The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation for more on how to deal with guilt.

Thank you very much!! Im new here, could you tell me who is HHM?

He's one of the top mentors here. His user name is Hashem Help Me. You can reach him at michelgelner@gmail.com
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge
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