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My Journey: Week 1
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TOPIC: My Journey: Week 1 718 Views

My Journey: Week 1 07 Jan 2010 05:26 #43225

  • riskbh54
Hey all, hope this finds everyone here well.

It's about a week since I decided to really go and fight my addiction, and I want to start off thanking everyone for their chizuk. Before GYE I thought I was the sole person going through this, and knowing that there are other like me and who are so encouraging is a comforting feeling.

So a few things:
I got the K9 filter and gave the password to a friend. However, it severely affected certain aspects of my internet which I need for certain business things i do (uploading and email attachments more specifically). Anyone with advice on this?

I am still in the process of going through the handbooks, which are a huge help.

What's interesting that I have been doing that I never did before is addressing all my thoughts in the matter as factors of my "ADDICTION." Yes - I am an addict. And being one, I cannot do things that will feed my addiction. So I find myself being very wary on that end.

Another thing that I feel is that instead of feeling down and depressed, I feel impatient, high strung, and tense. Withdrawal symptoms??? perhaps....

I have taken a break from dating in order to get a nice clean streak going as I know from where I was prior to GYE, your decision making process is severely affected while being MZL.

I feel confident as the first week closes, however I am worried about falling into routine and slipping just one time. By me that one time leads to an uncontrollable streak which only hitting rock bottom can pull me out of.

Some chizuk advice etc:
I heard a shiur recently that when one is being tempted by his yetzer harah he should attempt 3 things, starting with learning. I that doesnt work, say "Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad!" And lastly if that doesnt work, think about the day you'll die... very intense stuff, but i think it could be very affective...

L'Chaim to week 1!
Last Edit: by chabadsker.

Re: My Journey: Week 1 07 Jan 2010 05:37 #43230

  • kollel guy
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It's really awesome to hear about your week, I hope you carry your success till 90 and beyond with a constantly renewed cheshek.
(Shouldn't this thread be in wall of honor?)
Last Edit: by renewedlynx77.

Re: My Journey: Week 1 07 Jan 2010 11:17 #43323

  • imtrying25
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Your doing great risk. And there are those that can help with the filter. K9 allows you to whitelist any site yod like. So try that. In the mean time Keep on rockin.
Last Edit: by balbitachon.

Re: My Journey: Week 1 07 Jan 2010 15:50 #43380

  • shemirateinayim
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the source is a gemara in berachos. there are alot of agados, and i don't have a brachos handy so don't ask me where.    You are gonna phase into various forms of withdrawal. As soon as one tayva won't work it will be replaced with another. keep an eye out for the new tayvos. the withdrawal weared off for ma after 40 days, but the wasn't on my first clean streak. if you pull off two weeks be proud.

I may be wrong, but when i met my first goal, 1 week, the next week just felt like extra credit, and when it got hard i broke it but i didn't feel bad, It felt great 14 days, wow i havesn't done that in 4 years!!!

Hatzlaca, and keep posting. 
Last Edit: by serenekangaroo93.

Re: My Journey: Week 1 07 Jan 2010 23:15 #43564

  • the.guard
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Dear riskbh,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

For all your filter solutions, see this page and be in touch with our filter Gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by azaria.

Re: My Journey: Week 1 14 Jan 2010 03:43 #45555

  • riskbh54
Well guys, I fell. Then I fell again, and then again....
When I fall I spiral...
I know it's my addiction, but I feel helpless right now. How am I gonna beat this? Im usually so sure about my ability to overcome this if I just reall really try, but right now I feel like its impossible. Im not depressed or looking for teshuvah. Hashem has given me this test. And obviously I can beat it because He doesnt give things we cant handle.
Bu how am I gonna do this????
Therapy?
I dunno...
Help
Last Edit: by .

Re: My Journey: Week 1 14 Jan 2010 03:49 #45556

  • Ineedhelp!!
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You are such a strong person. Let me point a few things which prove my point.

1) You admitted your fall. This is the first step in recovery. Although this may seem small and unimportant, it is extremely essential to your recovery.

2) You realize where this came from. Hashem. Your not angry at Hashem, you look towards Hashem for the way out.

3)You are looking for the solution. Many addicts will fiddle around and think that they can really do this by themselves. You realize that you need more help than only you can offer to yourself.

Keep up the good work!

-Yiddle
Last Edit: by .

Re: My Journey: Week 1 14 Jan 2010 05:01 #45563

  • WeWillNotBeForsaken
It may take time, but YOU CAN do this!!!!
I just saw your thread now for the first time - welcome!!!
FYI - there is a thread "I'm about to fall" that has really helped me in the past couple of days (i'm on day 13).
Good luck!!!
Last Edit: by .

Re: My Journey: Week 1 14 Jan 2010 08:02 #45589

  • kollel guy
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riskbh54 wrote on 14 Jan 2010 03:43:

Well guys, I fell. Then I fell again, and then again....
When I fall I spiral...
I know it's my addiction, but I feel helpless right now. How am I gonna beat this? Im usually so sure about my ability to overcome this if I just reall really try, but right now I feel like its impossible. Im not depressed or looking for teshuvah. Hashem has given me this test. And obviously I can beat it because He doesnt give things we cant handle.
Bu how am I gonna do this????
Therapy?
I dunno...
Help
OK I have a question for you. A really basic question. Do you have a filter?
Last Edit: by .

Re: My Journey: Week 1 14 Jan 2010 16:35 #45717

  • the.guard
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How are you gonna beat this? Good question!!

I think that's why we created the handbooks that I linked to you above. Have you read them?
And reading is not enough, you need to IMPLEMENT the suggestions therein too 

G-d luck, my friend.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .
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