My best advise I can give anyone today:

Next time you're battling an urge listen to "Rollin' by The 8th Day" on blast and all will be good! (You have to pay attention to the lyrics)

Tested and approved by myself and @Heeling 

(Water’s on my mind and I just can’t swim

The only way to win is to jump right in.)

Some say, turn around

Turn around and fight ‘em

Some say, close your eyes and pray

Some wave a big white flag

Screamin’ with surrender

Some quit, callin it a day

CHORUS:

Just keep on moving, rollin on

Don’t stop for the ocean

Keep on moving, waters fade away

Just keep on moving, rollin on

Don’t stop for the ocean

Keep on moving ‘til you find your way

ויאמר, ויסעו, ״פארט פארט פארט״

ויאמר, ויסעו, ״פארט״

Go! Go!

Go! Go!

Some look away

There’s just nothing but survival

Some say it doesn’t really pay

Some hold on tight, screamin'

Can’t change my nature

Some say, we just can’t find our way

CHORUS:

Just keep on moving, rollin on

Don’t stop for the ocean

Keep on moving, waters fade away

Keep on moving, rollin on

Don’t stop for the ocean

Keep on moving ‘til you find your way

ויאמר, ויסעו, ״פארט פארט פארט״

ויאמר, ויסעו, ״פארט״

Go! Go!

Go! Go!

Water’s on my mind and I just can’t swim

The only way to win is to jump right in

I’m staring down a barrel but I trust in Him

Waves are crashing but we’re comin' in

Got my eye on the prize won’t stop for the lies

I’ll be running down this path ‘til he opens my eyes

Clouds so dark I can’t see a thing

But I wait to see the light that my faith will bring

(CHORUS and then Water's on my mind)

Great song!
Also “Give It All You Got”.

Day 9

Hashem gifted me the strength to win another day in this battle, and I pray for more. In no way do I feel confident about keeping it up for too much longer, B'derech Hateyva. With such a broken immune system I'm vulnerable to the slightest exposure. 

Shalom aleichem gibor.

I spoke to my mashgiach from my old yeshiva (and a few other talmidei chachamim) about this ( specifically about sensitivity to kedusha, to shmiras einayim, to not feeling dulled towards these acts) 
He said to immerse yourself in the mikva of torah, and gradually you mimeila will regain the sensitivity.
נשמה שנתת בי טהורה היא
We are naturally kadosh and sensitive to these topics, as we gradually remove ourselves from the tumah, we will, naturally, start returning to our natural state.
( I understand this is a reply to a much earlier thread, thought I'd do it anyway for anyone who might gain)
Hatzlocha Rabbah
Someone who recently restarted using GYE himself

Day 10

Last night I felt very down and anxious. My old habits were kicking in and I was starting to slip... B"h it was early enough that I was able to ask myself if there's something else I can do that will me give me this dopamine rush in kosher way... I decided to write about my intimacy struggles in the Balei Batim's forum, and it worked wonders... I got stirred up by revisiting old memories and writing it out and I went to sleep in good spirit.

I also purchased the book Battle of The Generation, and frankly, 3 chapters in, I didn't yet find it interesting but I will continue reading it as another form of Hishtadlus.

dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 17 Jan 2025 14:50:

I felt the same way... i actually found it pretty boring throughout and slightly repetitive.. so don't hope that at any point it'll become gripping.
But it's worth reading because it's davka the דברים פשוטים that are so life changing!! Slowly but surely it rewires your way of thinking and gives you an understanding and even an appreciation for our Kedusha struggles. The thrill is in the outcome - the new way of living!

Keep up your great work!

חזק ואמץ
UpAndDown

Sunday I woke up in an awful mood and very triggered. I really tried hard to stay clean but I failed! I'm devastated!!!

Day 1

I'm trying to teach myself that because I fell yesterday doesn't mean I have to continue playing in the mud. I'm also trying to celebrate the 13 days that I won. That was 13 days that didn't come easy. Bs"d I'm winning a lot more than loosing. 

dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 21 Jan 2025 15:11:

to quote the great seekingkedusha1 "Trump bounced back and so will I"

Day 8 B"h

Day 14 B"h

Since my last report I came down with the flu and was bedbound for days. B"h I'm feeling better and my Y"h hasn't forgotten about me. I didn't fall today but slipped a bit. 

Refua shleima!!

dreamyunicorn28 wrote on 03 Feb 2025 21:30:

Nor have we buddy! keep it up and keep on posting!

Its probably not nice of me to tell you that your slips and falls are mechazek me...

But the truth is, it does.
Not because of your slips and falls but because of the outcome, you dont give in to that stupid monster!!!

I hope your never mechazek me again:grinning:

I can't believe I'm back on here... It has been a few very difficult weeks for me. It started with feeling sick physically but when I was finally feeling better I became very depressed. I completely lost myself. I fell badly. I'm still not out of it but at least I had the strength to make an SOS signal.