I was m'ing in the bathroom before, not really feeling that I cared or too much of a want to stop.
I made a few half-hearted attempts to stop.
Then it suddenly hit me, "What in the world am I doing?
I know its wrong, that its not what I really want to be doing, and I'm not even feeling any pleasure from it.
I'm just mindlessly following an urge, giving in and not even getting anything out of it."
I still felt pretty dead and indifferent to giving in, but I had the clarity that there was nothing in it for me- not even a temporary pleasure.
So I stopped.