Have been having a very rough time in yeshiva, very often I'm craving for a release without having any sort of healthy outlet.
Sometimes I have a taavah to let the stress out with m, haven't given in once the entire zman.
Right now holding by almost 4 weeks, last fall was Shabbos parshas bereishis (spellcheck disagrees, insists that it was Shabbos pashas burnishes.)

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 22 Nov 2024 17:52:

First. That's amazing! Kudos to you.

Second. This is definitely shailas chacham chatzi teretz. Find an outlet! 
20 minutes of daily exercise is very healthy, and a lot of people have found exercise very helpful. I'd also recommend finding some daily responsibility in yeshiva you can do. This will help in multiple ways, but is a longer schmooze than I have time for right now though. 

I've talked too many chachamim, so far don't have any eitzos.
The problem isn't that I don't have any outlets.
The problem is that none of my outlets are enough against what I'm dealing with.

chosemyshem wrote on 22 Nov 2024 17:57:

I also found exercise very helpful but not enough by itself, I gained more by working on not needing the release and having exciting projects that occupied my time and mental and emotional energy. Also like the idea of accepting achrayos in the yeshiva.
hatzlacha

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 22 Nov 2024 18:43:

Have you read the book The Battle of the Generation? Once you develop an excitement for the effort you are putting in to overcome it may make the wins more invigorating and may make the urges seem less powerful. 

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 22 Nov 2024 17:52:

Most of the time, even when I'm craving an unhealthy release, I dont have any urges, and if I do, they're usually pretty weak.
But it still is the main trigger of urges when in yeshiva.

Sounds difficult….

Stay strong brother, we believe in you!

Muttel

I am definitely not holding by giving eitzos yet. All I can say is I am amazed at your self control!
HHM told me a story that someone came to the steipler z"l struggling with these issues. When he heard that even occasionaly holds him self back, the Steipler said "I want to kiss the hand that held back from doing it" You have held yourself back for 26 days!!!! I can only imagine what the Steipler would say about you!! I'm blown away, brother!!  Hatzlacha!!

Trucking...
And off shabbos is coming.
⏳...

Be proactive.  Can you get on the phone with a chaver here to brainstorm?

I should, but I keep pushing it off.

If you can push yourself to do it, you will thank yourself afterwards. I am here three years and I don’t recall anyone regretting making that move (even if it seems scary to do…)

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 22 Nov 2024 18:43:

This line stuck in my head.

Forgive me for asking, but are you dealing with anything beyond "normal" problems?

A big issue for bochrim in general is the plain old lack of a life. Don't get me wrong. Yeshiva is beautiful and amazing. But many bochrim (myself included back in the day) are trying to do well in yeshiva, but they are also kinda waiting for the next stage in life (marriage, college, bein hazmanim, summer zman, purim, elul zman, camp, a better chavrusa for second seder, the phone to ring or the rain to go, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum). So they have hobbies and outlets, but of course those can't compensate for a general lack of connection to the life they are living. So problems and urges get magnified.

This is why I suggested taking on a role in yeshiva. In addition to keeping you busy and motivated, it will make yeshiva a greater part of your life. For me personally, my worst times in yeshiva were when I was feeling completely disconnected from yeshiva (and those were baaaaad times). The best times were when I was in a small place and felt like an important and necessary part of yeshiva. That made me feel connected, it made yeshiva into part of my life. 

This is a feeling that can be inculcated. You can work on this. R' Aharon Lopiansky's new book may be helpful - understanding the goals, purpose, and structural framework of being in yeshiva will help you make yeshiva into a life. A role in the yeshiva will certainly help. But it's fundamentally an attitude you can cultivate.

Honestly, I don't know what's going on in your life. And this is a general rant that's been building up, so I apologize if it's misguided for your situation. But becoming more connected to your life (which right now is the life of being a yeshiva bochur) can only help.

chosemyshem wrote on 26 Nov 2024 22:07:

Depends on how you define 'normal problems'.

Boruch Hashem, I didn't have any nisyonos shabbos afternoon, didn't have any falls over the off shabbos.
Had some urges in the past few days to m, didn't give on.