redfaced wrote on 09 Jan 2025 03:09:

Marrieds usually have more to keep busy with.

I've found that being busy helps with boredom, but does very little for loneliness. It took me doing some serious therapy to help cope with the loneliness which was a large driving force in my P and M struggle, even while married and barely having time to breathe. In a way being so busy makes it harder because you don't have the proper amount of time to process emotions, also you feel alone in all the pressures of life.

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 09 Jan 2025 14:38:

Which could either help or hurt. Hashem is just and does not compare us. Each person is judged only against himself.

החכם עיניו בראשו.

I should've had the foresight to shower earlier, when I wasn't feeling weak from fasting yet.

Decided that shower will have to wait till after shabbos.

I had this voice in my head saying that I don't have any urges now, I'm probably good, just go.

And thats probably true.

But I've learnt from experience that better safe than sorry. I'm compromised right now, feeling weak, Friday is my weak spot, and its not worth the risk.

Rough day.
Feeling...
Dunno.
More than exhausted.
Worn out.
Wiped.

And I have to eat supper, and do laundry, and get to bed.

It sounds like a joke, but right now all that's overwhelming.

I had a really strong taavah to m earlier in the bathroom, controlled myself.
Continued having urges for the next while, but didn't give in.