Been having a rough week especially tonight, kind of feel like crap heading into yom kipper. Any thoughts on what my mindset should be. I just feel gross walking into yom kipper with this on my head

Sorry to hear your having a hard time. I always say One Day At A Time or ODAAT. This is a mindset that takes each individual day and moment as its own. What happened yesterday or what may happen tomorrow doesn't matter because you cant change the past or predict the future. 
    If I were to constantly think of my past about how I used porn and masturbation for 9yrs and its so horrible and I'm a terrible person because of that, then that is extremely demoralizing. I take each day and tell myself I am going to be clean for today and if the urges come I remind/ask myself to be clean for just today. Just today is a lot easier of a concept than telling myself "I am never gonna watch porn or masturbate for the rest of my life" which is a daunting task and may lead to thoughts of "just once more and then I have the rest of my life that I wont do it".
   So take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself from past mistakes, learn from them and grow more resilient from them. Each day clean is one more not down in the dumps.

   Also whats your motivation to stay clean? Think of what your trying to accomplish. I had many instances where I had to remind myself why I am working on myself. I want to be a better man for my future wife and children, I want to stop living this double life, I love how clear my mind is now after so much progress (almost a year of no porn and around 8months no masturbation) and I don't want to lose that clarity, I don't want to have to keep myself in check every time I have a conversation/see a woman and fantasize out of instinct about them (I don't want to objectify them). Remembering your motivations is a big help

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!
G'mar Chasima Tova!

*make believe* Hashem is not out to slam you or look down on you, but rather is your ally. And come to Him sincerely and tell Him your feelings and how you wish you were

Thank you guys, this helps alot

Hey buddy!

The biggest mistake is to make Yom Kipour solely about this. Just the opposite. Focus mostly on everything else.  The good and the bad. Yes you can ask Hashem for help in this inyan too. And of course thank Hashem for giving us this heilige day where he cleanses us. But don't make it all about this sin, your guilt over it, yada yada. You'll  just end up imploding ch"v motzei YK. I hope I'm saying this right. But this (very true) idea is kudos of HHM.

And if I can suggest call HHM after YK or one of the other tzaddikim here. They really want to, and can really help you!!

Gmar Chasimah Tovah!