Just had another big fall. Figured it would be better to come on here and write and read a little as a step towards getting better. Thought I'd rather end my day doing this than with the acts before. I don't want to think about what I just did. But I know how bored and lonely I felt the entire day, which led up to the fall. I feel a bit hopeless- how in the world will I ever be rid of this addiction? I'm in shidduchim already. I feel so guilty in the fact that I have a date scheduled and I'm still doing this. I saw someone write "ODAAT"- One day at a time. That's my new motto for this fight. I can't imagine ever being fully clean, but I sure will be clean tomorrow. Just tomorrow. We'll take it One Day At A Time. 

I totally get your sentiment, I too am in shidduchim and have also thought word for word like you.
I'm trying to use marriage as a push to finally overcome this for once and for all! I'm currently on day 7 of what I genuinely hope will get me to at least 90 (and hopefully sobriety for life - I fully, 100% believe that it's possible)
Also, like you said one beautiful day at a time - oBdaat.
Every day is a fresh start and every day has its own challenges, but we must remember that the challenges of today are what we can look back at tomorrow and say "wow I actually did it!"
That's the beauty of oBdaat - every day is a new beginning, a fresh start of sorts, an opportunity to change the world little by little, day by day.

you can pm me if your interested in chatting 
Hatzlacha rabba!!

Wow look at you! 124 days clean. That's incredible. Well I just had another fall. This one hurts. Really bad. I'd love to be in touch I just don't know how. Please reach out!

Hi, I also want to be in shidduchim soon and just had a big fall after almost 90 days clean. I recommend accountability that’s what got me too almost 90 days completely clean and changed my mindset. I highly recommend reaching out to HHM: michelgelner@gmail.com, you won’t regret it.
Feel free to PM me.

Hatzlacha Rabba