Hello everyone, it's been many times that I tried to search for something on my dad's phone and ended up with a p*** page open up. Idk how to react and it really changed the way I looked at him and how I respect him as well, I mean come on he's supposed to be an example and he watches porno without taking care of his children who can see it. What can I do? please help me.
Ps: Im not a kid but  a youngman (dealing with my own p&m problems but  dont wanna know that my dad also deals with that...)
Idk what to do, how can change the image that I have of him right now? I cant talk about it with my Rabbeim bc they know him and it would ruin his reputation

That must be very hard how it effects your image of your father and your relationship. 

The first thing that I would keep in mind is that he has a yetzer hara just like the rest of us. Your Rabbeim could have the same YH and we just don't know. We must try not to judge anyone. He is your father, and I'm not implying that it should not matter to you CV. Of course it is a difficult thing to bear. 

Perhaps if you are in a position to open up to your father about your struggle with p&m (not his) and ask for help (filter devices and maybe learn a shmiras einayim sefer together), he would understand well, and you might be mechazeik him? Maybe that's not a good idea, and the oilam here can weigh in, because I don't think you should be his help - only set yourself up by asking him for help that you might also motivate him to work on it (which he may or may not).

You are still going to know that it was something that he did. Him possibly changing will not automatically "fix" your image of him - that is something you will have to figure out either way. There is a lot of shame and guilt involved with this specific nisayon. Would it bother you as much if you discovered that he sometimes skips putting on tefillin? His personal battles are for him to fight. Try and see the rest of him with an ayin tov.

I hope others have more eitzov to offer. This is certainly not a simple thing for you to deal with.
Hatzlacha

Wow this is a tricky one..
As BenHashemBH says, everyone has a Yetzer Hara, it doesn't define him, he's just struggling... so definitely don't look down at him.
What I would do in this situation is not to openly talk to him about it, nor to take on myself HIS problems, but rather I would buy the book "The Battle of the Generation" (by Hillel S. - available on Amazon for $9.30) and leave it lying around on the table.. He will most likely open it and read a little, it might get him started with his recovery... (if he asks who this book belongs to, you can be honest and say its yours and you find it a very interesting and inspiring book... you have nothing to be embarrassed of since you know full well that he's struggling with lust)
Alternatively you can leave a tab open on his phone with the GYE homepage (as if you forgot to close it...)

And looking forward to hearing from you also about your personal journey!
No pressure... when you're ready...

wannabefree88 wrote on 24 Jun 2024 11:25:

Didn't know I was gonna get my heart broken so early in the morning today.

I know that this is extremely painful. And it's a serious and delicate issue. Rabbi Twerski addressed a similar situation for GYE once. I suggest you read his response carefully: HERE

Practically, if you cannot speak to him or someone else, HERE is a link to a form that you can sign him up to receive an email from GYE. As you'll see there's an option to send one totally anonymously, and one that will send him a more personalized email. Send whatever you feel comfortable with.

Thanks everyone , 
Honestly I wont  talk about my issues here bc I already did, just didnt want anyone to know about my dad's issues so I created another account...)
I cannot talk to him about that, he's an "old" dad, not so frum and I dont even think that he sees a pb it seeing that. It's just a distraction for him