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A letter to my Rebbi
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TOPIC: A letter to my Rebbi 631 Views

Re: A letter to my Rebbi 07 Jun 2024 00:18 #414824

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Muttel wrote on 06 Jun 2024 22:33:
@chosemyshem and everyone else here - something happened today that may make us feel better. It may give us hope and allow us to pacify our inner child that has suffered far too long in one way or another.

I'm a Rebbi and a talmid came to me yesterday asking for permission (bless him for doing that!) to watch movies this off shabbos. I immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation. He owned up to watching porn since he's 12 and masturbating for years as well. I took the opposite approach of choosemyshem's Rebbi and had a long talk with him today - essentially giving him the talk I got from HHM (minus marriage related advice) along with the advice of many others here.

He was flabbergasted at the tools and the idea of living "trigger free". I'll keep everyone posted on his shteigen, but know that our falls can help others........ even the very young (19).....

have a great night!
Muttel

May you be blessed! and I hope this boy keeps shteiging!
You can win the fight, but I'll have to live with the loser.

Any excuse you use for yourself, you must be willing to use for your wife.

Not Always can I understand others, but I can always respect their wishes.

You're human, it's okay.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Re: A letter to my Rebbi 07 Jun 2024 00:48 #414828

Muttel wrote on 06 Jun 2024 22:33:
I'm a Rebbi and a talmid came to me yesterday asking for permission (bless him for doing that!) to watch movies this off shabbos. I immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation. He owned up to watching porn since he's 12 and masturbating for years as well. I took the opposite approach of choosemyshem's Rebbi and had a long talk with him today - essentially giving him the talk I got from HHM (minus marriage related advice) along with the advice of many others here.

Way to go, Muttel! That's awesome.

At first I wasn't sure if I agreed with "immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation." Movies does not necessarily mean masturbation. But after further reflection, I love it. The bochur is confiding in you and beginning a conversation about something that is outside the general norms of yeshiva behavior. So, why not go there? It's not like masturbation is an uncommon struggle. And what's the worst that will happen? "No, rebbi, b"h, I am careful about that and don't have any struggle with it."

I am confident that this talmid will feel comfortable reaching out to you again for further support around porn/masturbation issues and you will be that support and mentor that so many of us over here wished we had in our bochur days.

Love it, love it, love it!

Re: A letter to my Rebbi 07 Jun 2024 01:50 #414840

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 07 Jun 2024 00:48:

Muttel wrote on 06 Jun 2024 22:33:
I'm a Rebbi and a talmid came to me yesterday asking for permission (bless him for doing that!) to watch movies this off shabbos. I immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation. He owned up to watching porn since he's 12 and masturbating for years as well. I took the opposite approach of choosemyshem's Rebbi and had a long talk with him today - essentially giving him the talk I got from HHM (minus marriage related advice) along with the advice of many others here.



Way to go, Muttel! That's awesome.

At first I wasn't sure if I agreed with "immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation." Movies does not necessarily mean masturbation. But after further reflection, I love it. The bochur is confiding in you and beginning a conversation about something that is outside the general norms of yeshiva behavior. So, why not go there? It's not like masturbation is an uncommon struggle. And what's the worst that will happen? "No, rebbi, b"h, I am careful about that and don't have any struggle with it."

I am confident that this talmid will feel comfortable reaching out to you again for further support around porn/masturbation issues and you will be that support and mentor that so many of us over here wished we had in our bochur days.

Love it, love it, love it!

Thanks for the accolades! Just to put you at ease, he indicated that he’d had masturbating issues - for purposes of brevity I left out the devarim hanikarim….. bh he’s accepted HHM’s 30 day challenge!

feels weird running someone else’s challenge when I haven’t even hit 30 days yet…. whatever……
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 07 Jun 2024 14:46 by Muttel.

Re: A letter to my Rebbi 07 Jun 2024 13:37 #414854

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Muttel wrote on 06 Jun 2024 22:33:
@chosemyshem and everyone else here - something happened today that may make us feel better. It may give us hope and allow us to pacify our inner child that has suffered far too long in one way or another.

I'm a Rebbi and a talmid came to me yesterday asking for permission (bless him for doing that!) to watch movies this off shabbos. I immediately asked him if that comes along with masturbation. He owned up to watching porn since he's 12 and masturbating for years as well. I took the opposite approach of choosemyshem's Rebbi and had a long talk with him today - essentially giving him the talk I got from HHM (minus marriage related advice) along with the advice of many others here.

He was flabbergasted at the tools and the idea of living "trigger free". I'll keep everyone posted on his shteigen, but know that our falls can help others........ even the very young (19).....

have a great night!
Muttel

Reb Muttel this is true gadlus. You made my day!
May you be zocheh to continue your amazing journey.

Re: A letter to my Rebbi 09 Jun 2024 15:50 #414910

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Amazing.  I wish I had a teacher that helped me like this. Even when I told one of them my problems I was told it wasn’t a big deal and just to ignore it. I think that’s what they tell teachers to say which may be right or wrong I don’t know. anyhow I always dreamed of having a rebbe acknowledge and help me with it.
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