Why does thee have to be staring at something else? Why cant you just very gently look in any other direction ?

redfaced wrote on 13 May 2024 15:17:

No half mesures buddy cande likes to live life on the edge.

So I was walking outside and I glance across the street, its a woman, I look away and continue walking....

At what point does it go from being aware of your surroundings to shmiras einayim
I would like to propose that if you look longer than a glance or take a second glance then that's where it gets to a problem of shmiras einayim. 
Also If you can tell from your peripheral vision that it wont be appropriate and you still look

A SAD BUT TRUE STORY

I was speaking with my mother on the topic of shidduchim. She does not know about my battle with the y'h but the topic of secrets came up.
She told me of a story of a person in our community that got married to a top bochur in a Lakewood yeshiva at the age of 18. Ppl would ask the family "wow how did you get him for the shidduch" and other questions like that. 
Unfortunately 3 MONTHS into the marriage he was caught as an addict to pornography.
The outcome was their divorce. He is now otd and she is 33 and cant find a shidduch bc shadchanim say she is "tainted". Thats 15 yrs alone.

There are so many takeaways from this story and I hope we all interpret this and use it to better ourselves.

BH Im finding that I am able to talk to women when necessary without feeling uncomfortable bc my mind is getting way less clogged with disgusting thoughts.  Of course, I am still being vigilant but it's getting easier.

Keep on trucking and even tip towing, bc any progress is progress!!

Started to realize I was reading certain posts here that could possibly start having negative affects like fantasy and such. 
Crazy thing is that half a year ago I would have considered these thing so mundane.
There's a point I (and maybe others here) have to decide wether reading a post is beneficial or detrimental to overcoming this nisoyon. Everyone is on a different level at different times so a post that would have been beneficial 6months ago can be more harmful now after so much progress to distance ourselves from these thoughts.

On aanother kinda similar note, I recently realized I could never finish multiple TV shows or re-read some of my favorite book series due to the content

        Yesterday was a challenge. Not in the sense of being a hard day but to have the right mind set.
       I was just coming off a night that I had a wet dream. Now I'm on the subway for a half hour and making sure to stay focused on a wall (not the window bc reflection) and it was relatively packed. I eventually notice within my peripheral that there's a group of women that are not dressed properly at all. It now was even more crucial that I didn't lose focus of the wall. Eventually they get off and I can relax a bit. 
          Once it cleared up a bit I took a seat and was able to continue my studies of the wall. At A glance I notice a woman looking at me with a smile. I now make sure again to not look in any other direction but that wall. 
          A few stops later a different woman steps right in front of me and I have to shift focus and then decide to just close my eyes.

      BH I got off the subway at my stop but wow that was one of the highest tests of shmiras einayim I have been given on the subway. I can't imagine if it would have been one of the cars with the immodest advertisements.

       ODAAT - One Day At A Time

You are an inspiration!!!

    Something I noticed over the past few months is that when a women walks by I sometimes have a small instinct to inhale. Is this natural?
I've been working on it to the point that I try to hold my breath when I notice that I am about to inhale.
    I guess this is the whole reasons perfumes were invented. Does anyone have a similar experience and do you think this requires more attention than I'm already giving it?

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time,
                                     Have a great Shabbos.

Normal. I do the same thing. I don't think that I am halachically required but it disgusts me.

Same here. I'm more comfortable keeping my mouth shut and not inhaling (whether holding or exhaling, whatever's more comfortable)...like with what we don't look at, if someone's wearing perfume, presumably it's not for my benefit.

I am so frustrated and angry at something right now but I WILL NOT go to masturbation in order to calm myself down.

Currently upset and blasting music in my ears

ODAAT

jewizard21 wrote on 23 Sep 2024 02:25:

I knew I heard some good rhythm !
Brother you got this!!

How about journaling? Write down exactly what happened and all of your raw emotions exactly as they are. You can shred the paper or delete the words from the computer without saving it once you are done writing. That should calm you down. This helped me avoid exploding at other people and it helped me avoid panic attacks. It is a very powerful tool.

It's over now, I just needed a break and to push through the frustration bc I had a deadline I had to make for a particularly annoying assignment.
I'm all good now, thanks a ton.

It was a bit humbling to notice that at a certain point there was a tiny notion in the back of my head that was telling me that masturbation would calm me down.
      In reality it would probably distract me even more bc I would have to deal with the aftermath of me still being in a frustrating situation and having just gone masturbated and feeling the guilt/misery of going back even if for a one time hit. 

Baruch Hashem I am still clean and have a sense of accomplishment on 2 ends with regards to no longer being frustrated and not succumbing to masturbation.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!