I'm about to go buy an unfiltered phone help?

yehudam wrote on 05 Mar 2024 19:31:

Can you get me one too? Just kidding.
You have 2 options now:
1: you can go buy the phone
2: you can not buy the phone
Choose wisely, choose Coke.  

Oish!

Stop and think a minutes the regret you'll feel the second after you pay for it.

You can do this. Hold back - buy it in ten minutes and then do another ten.

You can throw it out immediately after buying it but then there is the trap of feeling like you wasted money for nothing. But then, even if you buy it and keep it perhaps you are wasting your money on something worth nothing.....

We only do things because we believe that they are good for us, only that sometimes we fool ourselves into believing something bad to be good. Perhaps push off buying the smartphone for a week or two until you feel you have reached clarity over your decision.

Ask yourself what you would gain by buying it, what you would gain if you don't buy it, whether there is a better way of accomplishing the same thing, what effect it will have on you and your friends, if you would be married - what message would you want to give your children, whether you think you will have control over it or whether it will have control over you, whether it will lead to happiness or to things you will later regret, and what feelings you would have if you consciously decided to buy it or not to buy it? Think about the pros and cons in this world, whether physical, psychological, emotional, or spiritual, and not just within the context of mutar or assur.

Rationalization and denial are very powerful psychological components so postpone making a decision for a week or two, or a little longer if necessary, until you feel that you have reached clarity.

It would be a good choice to read The Battle of the Generation ahead of time so that you can be empowered to make the right decisions and remove all the fuzziness of the Yetzer Hora. When we feel the urgency to act immediately it can sometimes be difficult to think rationally.

yehudam wrote on 05 Mar 2024 19:31:

Please explain why you're posting this... 

I would suggest instead of telling yourself I'm not buying it, push it off a day. Nothing will happen if you wait a day. 
As the saying goes, "one day at a time!"

Hi everyone so I ended up buying the phone fell 3 times realized what a big mistake I was doing I'm definitely gonna deal with this pain for at least a couple of month but listen bh hashem has directed some angels in my life and one of them told me to break the phone, so I just fell before the 3rd fall and bh I just snapped the phone in half yalla let's go for the win!!!!! 

yehudam wrote on 06 Mar 2024 20:17:

what do you learn from this?
what do you plan to do in the future? 

yehudam wrote on 06 Mar 2024 20:17:


Hey Yehudam!

A win is a win and you deserve to celebrate!!

That being said...Although I hate being the grumpy old man brandishing the gnarled cane, I would gently and kindly suggest that perhaps your celebration should include some introspection. That being, addressing an important question; (Disclaimer for the Lustapo: I do believe in the importance of curtailing access to shmutz in any possible way. Including not having devices or filtering). 

Is breaking devices going to help me if the problem is within me, or, have I actually successfully vanquished the dragons/demons/basilisk/whatever, by simply destroying a piece of metal. It is entirely possible that yes, this particular device was indeed most of your problem, in that case, good for you! 

I cannot answer this question for you, although I can about myself. For me, no matter how many devices I've smashed/hurled/disposed of in the past, my mind remains an unfiltered lust box.

Not all breaking the device does not solve the problem I can always go buy another one I need a plan I need to figure out my triggers iyh with hashems help I will 1 step at a time thank you so much for your feedback

davidt wrote on 06 Mar 2024 20:36:

yehudam wrote on 06 Mar 2024 22:38:

If I may suggest... the taphsic method might not be the best choice for you at this point. You're basically fighting with yourself without really addressing the core issue and strengthening your foundation. It's like pulling a rubber band till it snaps.
How about starting with the "Reasons for Change" tool? 

guardyoureyes.com/f2f/w/reasons-for-change.pdf

The Reasons for Change tool is a set of 3 questions that will help you think about your life without your current behavior, and what your life will look like once you’re free.

The Reasons for Change will guide you through the process of clarifying your true motivations for change by asking:

• What is it that bothers you most about your current behavior?
• If you would quit successfully, what might be the best thing that will happen to you? Who would you be without it?
• If you were to continue with the way things are now, what do you think is the worst thing that might happen to you?

Motivation can make a significant difference when changing problematic behavior. Often, the real reasons for change can be overlooked, resulting in low motivation or not being ready to make a change. When you can dig deep and connect with meaningful, personal reasons for change, then it is likely that your motivation will be increased; this way, the goal of reaching freedom can become more of a reality.