Adam,
Please check out this post, i think you will enjoy it very much. 



​guardyoureyes.com/forum/15-The-Torah-amp-Chizuk-Approach/415810-Rabbi-Tzvi-Freeman

Dear Adam (and friends),
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are not alone. I have been there. Done it in similar fashion. For me, surrendering my powerlessness over my addiction has helped me greatly. And continues to do so. I must work the steps for my daily reprieve from lust. I am not bad but I do have some kind of addiction or allergy to lust. I am actually a very good person and an Eved Hashem with a problem. 
I am certainly not going to suggest that you or anyone else has an addiction to lust or porn or internet or sex. This comes from one's own self enlightenment. 
I have made more peace with myself for who I am. True, it is the Yetzer Hora, but I have found that straight musar, Torah, Tefila and "fighting the yetzer hora" only lasts for a period of time until I come back to needed to work my SA 12 Step program (which is quite complicated despite it's simplicity and often misunderstood by many). 
Hatzlocho to you in your personal journey. Happy to assist you if I can. Much love and I am dovening for you and all of our friends who need support from the One Above in these inyanim. Kol tuv. 

Hey Brotha, Where ya at?

Hi Guys, I come crawling back to you ashamed, sad, remorseful, desperate. I have tried again to take on this monster alone and failed. The Yetzer Hara is toying with me, giving me these fleeting glimpses of what life could and should be like. I get the little taste and think I have it beat, only to have him kick me in the face time and time again.

So, I am back to you, to the place that I have hope, a place that I really tasted the success of living a clean and honest life. I am starting over from day one. I am going to dedicate whatever time is needed to confront this beast. To use all of the resources of GYE and finally stop trying to convince myself that I can do this on my own. I have to check my pride at the door and admit that this problem is stronger than me and that I need help. Asking for help doesn’t come easy to me. I am usually the one giving help, not asking for it. 

Hopefully, you guys will accept me back into the “club”. 

I hope all of you are having a good summer. I really missed you guys, even writing this is giving me hope!

Rooting for you, Adam!

Welcome back, Adam. 
You’re a good man. Looking forward to see your early morning reflections with morning coffee again  

You. Can. Do. This. 

You’ll get by with a litttle help from your friends…

Welcome back. A few phone calls to the chevra would possibly be beneficial.

Welcome back!
Just going to second and third the recommendation of HHM.
It's helped many break free.

We are here for you!

Coffee Talk is back….

Sitting here at 545am with my coffee thinking about this NEW journey that I am undertaking. I am on Day 3 of a very modest streak and thinking about how many good things are in my life. I have to focus on those and not the bad things. The bad things that happen are as just as much part of Gods plan as the good things, but I don’t need to focus on the bad, 

My daughter got married last month, my other daughter move back to our city. I dropped 20 lbs for the wedding (It is coming back on much faster than it came off). When I focus on HaShem and my family and continuously remind myself of all the blessings in my life, I find it easier to confront the problem that we are all here for.

Just sitting down to this keyboard is cathartic and puts me in the right mindset to take on the day.

This may be weird, but I am thinking about getting a new pair of Tefillin. I want to acknowledge this new chapter in my life. Is that crazy? I am big on symbolism and if I wrapped everyday with a new pair of Tefillin that was not around when I was living that “Other life” I thought that would be nice.

Love to hear your thoughts on that. Have a great day everyone

Adam so good to have you back. Regardless of the help you get out of it, I get a lot of encouragement from your posts.

Mazel tov on the wedding!

A new pair of tefillin sounds like an expensive symbol. There are some great organizations that enable you to sponsor a pair of tefillin for an israeli soldier - maybe donate a pair and keep the receipt in your tefillin bag and that can be your symbol. Or consider taking your tefillin to a reliable sofer to get checked and let that be symbol. 

Keep on trucking! (And by the way, if you're looking to get to know some of the boys offline please feel free to reach out.)

I gave my original pair of Tefillin to my new Son-in-Law. He doesn't wrap. The first time he ever wrapped was in Hebron last summer. I hope he may start at some point in his life. I use a spare pair when mine is getting checked, or I let someone borrow them so that I would buy another pair anyway. 

I have already sponsored a few pairs for the soldiers and bought a pair for a new Olim from Ethiopia. I LOVE my tefillin and everything it stands for. Putting them on is literally the highlight of my day.

Thanks so much

I was filter shopping, and someone told me about Geder. Is anyone familiar with them? Do you have any thoughts about them? I liked their website. It seems a little expensive, but sometimes you get what you pay for.

I use techloq, not too expensive. They have good customer service. You can chat with them about your special needs and ask how they can set it up for best protection.

I have been using it for work for a while and it does not hamper my business.

I was in Brooklyn this past Sunday. I made my usual rounds of stopping at the Rebbes Ohel in Queens, then off to 770 and Crown Heights, followed by lunch at my favorite restaurant in Williamsburg. I was hoping to buy a Kosher phone and found that many of the stores in Williamsburg were closed on Sunday (Someone told me that during the summer, many do close on Sunday). Does anyone know a good place to buy a Kosher phone in Williamsburg? I know I can get it online, but I prefer to buy it in person. I will be back in Williamsburg in a few weeks.

Or if you can recommend another place to buy one, it would be greatly appreciated. 

In a few weeks the stores will be open on Sundays again. Everyone is coming back into town Before Labor Day. 
Welcome back Adam! I missed you. You give a certain different perspective since you come from a different walk of life than most of us.

Stick around This battle is about strengthening the muscles you use when fighting lust. The longer you fight the stronger you get. 
You know how much we have to lose by getting lost in Lust. 
The world is amazing and there is so much we can do, but not if we are stuck in this 'lust prison' (dont google that, I fear what you will see.....)

Anyway, Im glad that we have you back here. 

Good luck