Greetings fellow GYERS,
The phone I own seems to know how to control me, hence it's name...
Did anybody ever experience this? Is it possible to own a smartphone without opening it every few minutes,not because I'm expecting a Whatsapp but for the need to look at the phone itself. I never succeed I'm the Dopamine detox...
is there some sort of 12 step group for technology addicts (without porn) or another form of help?
Wishing all a Shana Tova umevoreches.

Common.
Maybe go to the core, what do you believe causes this behavior? is it always the same? is it boredom?
Hatzlacha!

Hi Paltiel,
What you are describing is a real and serious issue plaguing all developed countries, lots and lots of people get addicted to thier phones and it ruins thier lives. 
There is a big debate if it can be called 'addiction' since there are no discernable withdrawal symptoms like with other addictions.... but the fact is that it controls them. 
Unfortunately, this is very common in our circles as well, only people dont realize it for what it is. Walking on the street and taking out your phone every 2 seconds is not healthy! Sitting by a simcha and not interacting with others but rather choosing to play with your phone is insane! plain and simple, look around and see how many people that have a smartphone, especially if they have any kind of social media on there, are always engrossed in it? My heart goes out for them.... Nebech letting their whole life go by and they are not here!!! 

I had a smartphone for years before it was commonplace, i had the first few versions of the iphone, but slowly i weaned myself off and now im free for years, i would never choose to go back! I got my life back BH, my wife did the same and we are happier than ever. 
Im not saying its easy or that it must be done, but its possible and once you get used to it, you will be thanking me......

chancy wrote on 12 Sep 2023 16:56:

Been there done that . Ive had a smartphone for a couple of years , Without any social media on it & it still managed to waste a lot of my time.
I'm close to 3 years without one now , and although there are certainly a lot of inconveniences to having a dumb phone over a smart phone - I would never choose to go back to having one as my regular phone

I never owned a smartphone (and I hope never to own one) but from what I observe it seems that it has the capacity to control it's owner. 
Cars stay by greenlights without the driver noticing that it's time to move... People walk in the street without noticing where they're going... Children try to talk to their parents, but there's someone more important - and so on... 

I read a study, that average Americans tend to spend five to six hours every day on their phones. This means that the average American spends around three months of the year staring at their phone screen. Using a smartphone leads to an increase in dopamine signals in our brains. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that causes us to feel pleasure, just like serotonin and oxytocin. However, the feeling of pleasure caused by dopamine is temporary, so our brains seek to repeat the feeling, leading to the repeated use of the smartphone. 

The brain consists of thousands of neural pathways that help memory, concentration, and other functions. The less we use a particular channel, the weaker that connection becomes. Eventually, these connections become dormant. This makes it impossible to be effective at doing tasks that once were automatic. Having our phone so readily available weakens memory functions and decreases productivity. We waste so many minutes relying on our phones. We should use this time to re-examine the effectiveness and ineffectiveness smartphones play in our daily lives.

Try leaving it in a certain area such as in a drawer or cabinet for short amounts of time. Like let's say for 20 minutes when you come home. Then build from there. It will retrain your brain that you don't need to look at it all the time or "be on call."

future paltiel wrote on 12 Sep 2023 04:43:

Hi there! I used to struggle with the same thing you've brought up. Kudos to you for bringing to light a challenge that so many people are too afraid to attempt to conquer!

While I don't know of a 12 step program or group for technology addicts (although im sure it exists somewhere out there), I've found legitimate success curbing my phone addiction by doing the following:

1. Deleting Social Media: This includes everything from Instagram to YouTube to Reddit, the works.
2. Minimalist Phone Launcher: The BEST thing I've ever done that aactually curbed my addiction. Here's a link to their website, you should read the full details of what they're offering there. I have an Android phone so I don't know if this works or not for Apple.
3. Dual Whatsapps: I have 2 Whatsapps on my phone. One is normal Whatsapp, one is Business Whatsapp. One I use for friends, family and work, the other I use for statuses and deal chats etc. It allows me to limit my time I spend just scrolling through statuses mindlessly. It also ensures that when I receive a Whatsapp notification, it's actually an important (usually, at least) notification. I Mute and Archive chats ruthlessly!! 

I hope this helps you somehow. I strongly strongly strongly recommend giving Option 2 a shot. It’s been the only thing to truly work for me and others that I know use it. 

Keep it up brother!!!

This is an awesome thread. Please keep the ideas coming! My wife and I really need to work on this. 

2152023 wrote on 27 Sep 2023 11:25:

My wife and I just started a new thing... first, we both do our best to go to bed together (at the same time. I used to stay up much later than my wife, either i was working or was mindlessly scrolling on my phone).

Second, once we are in bed, we leave our phones charging and out of reach from our beds. This way we fall asleep talking to each other instead of on our phones. It also helps improve our sleep quality and makes it easier to get up in the morning, too.

I also have monthly "cleansing" cycles where I'll go through my phone and delete any apps that I don't use on a normal basis. Also, apps LOVE to ping you all day with unimportant adds, reminders, anything they can do to make you spend more time and money on them. Mute as many notifications as you can. 

UUtilize screen time and parental controls. Set up that your phone can only be used for "x" amount of minutes per hour before you have to ask your wife to unlock it for you. And vice versa.

Write down WHY you want to minimize your phone usage. Journal daily, even just short notes, about your experience trying to minimize phone usage, and keep a log of your daily usage so you can track yourself over time. When you feel like you're struggling (which is completely normal), you'll have what to look back at to remind yourself why you need to keep fighting.

When we're trying to get rid of an addiction, it helps to have some form of healthy venue to replace the void caused by getting rid of the addiction. Take some time to think about different ways you can fill your phone void. Even better, think of ways that both you and your wife together can fill the void. Maybe go on a walk? Work out together? Bake something together (could even be for a chesed cause, especially around Y"T time).

I know this is long, and maybe a bit ADHD, but I hope there's something here that you and your wife will find resourceful. Best of luck my friend and keep fighting!!!

Gut Moed,
Thank you for your valuable replies that contain much wisdom and determination, in a world where the average person would have a hard time understanding there actually is an issue with smartphones...
For those who are in business or self employed, is it possible to work without a smartphone or at least without email/whatsapp or online finance apps available to you at your fingertips (and need to turn on their laptop or tablet anytime they need a technogical task performed)?
Apparently in EY some Charedi cell phone stores sell these "pre-filtered" smartphones where no apps can be downloaded and the only online features accessible are Whatsapp, Waze and E-mail (just saying...

future paltiel wrote on 03 Oct 2023 05:49:

Absolutely.
Its sometimes a gigantic hassle not to have any conveniences of a smartphone - but the benefits that I experience  far outweigh the loss of time . 

redfaced wrote on 03 Oct 2023 14:34:

Very interesting.
Tell me please, how do you manage? Do you only check your email on your office computer? Do you tell your clients/colleagues who call you to be patient as you are currently not in the office and can not open the link? It's important for me and the others to know as there for sure is a way without.
After all, everybody managed without them 15 years ago...

future paltiel wrote on 03 Oct 2023 17:14:

Everyone that I work with on a regular basis knows me, and knows that I don't have access to my emails after hours .
If they send me something that is time sensitive there will either be a phone call or a text message. I do have a laptop at home for things that are important.

Yes but now everyone is expected to respond at current speeds..... I think like what has been said its a question of priorities. In general, people respect when your a man of scruples. A boss may not be so appreciative of it though. I see all the anti smartphone posters in my area that always have a caveat in tinsy letters ​except for business in special circumstances, one should consult with his rav. there is a reason for that. But of course consult with your rav. If it is decided you dont needone than the solution to your question is simple.

redfaced wrote on 03 Oct 2023 22:25:

אשריך.

May many people including myself be Zocheh to be as responwible as you are