I am reposting this after I deleted it because, as I originally wrote, I want to be honest, and also because being vulnerable on GYE is part of healing. Thank you to those who sent me a PM about this post. It was exactly what I needed. I also read other threads on the forum that gave me chizuk. There is no need to respond to this post.

"I am writing this because I want to be honest and I am looking for encouragement and advice. I started falling but it didn't reach my criteria for a fall. I did viduy and kabalah now, however, I see myself vulnerable as I am lacking some of the enthusiasm I had when I started the F2F program. I am still going through the program but I now realize that I have to ramp up the amount of time I spend on the F2F program. I reread what I wrote as my core values, my reasons for change including the worst thing that will happen if I don't change, the best thing that will happen if I do change, and what it is that bothers me with my current behavior. I now see that it is useful to read them often, as well as reading my list of cues and solutions so I would respond better in the future.  But as I wrote, I am looking for encouragement and advice".