There is a women in my neighborhood who is always staring at me when I pass her. It makes me think...
​Set me straight please before I attempt her.

noshimnosher wrote on 26 Apr 2023 16:48:

Sorry I’ll have to pass at this time.

Me and Bibi are too busy getting our million man protest against Eerie together. 

What does your therapist say about all this?

Honestly, I would think that she's probably not actually trying anything, that's my opinion. Don't act on anything, and keep on overcoming your Yetzer hara!

Great for you! It means you are still alive and merit to have a purpose and challenges in this world.

Try not to think about her intentions and just ignore her. Save yourself from lots of trouble.

Who cares anyways? You don't look at women, you don't talk to women. Simple. Finished.

I hope that helps!!

Many things are "possible" but rationalization makes you think it's "probable" which can be very dangerous and misleading. 
Think about this: the Yetzer Hara is, a big bubble of "imaginary" pleasure that just pops in your face!

First, you want it. Then you want it more. Then you start to give in and need it more and more. Then you want it so much, you NEED it. Then you must have it now! Then you're about to get it! Then, it's finally coming, you want it, want it, want it...

If you pay attention though, as the pleasure actually comes - the arousals have already left your head. There are no more lusts or fantasies, only the petty pleasure. The bubble of desire is already gone, even as the pleasure comes. The Yetzer Hara has done it's job already...

- 10 seconds later, it's all over. Done. Nothing. Only emptiness and guilt (and other major troubles - when it includes other parties)  are left to linger.

So it's 97% desire and 3% pleasure. So what is there to give in for? Don't give up everything precious for this! 

Use simple analysis to conquer the Yetzer Hara! No need to be a mighty warrior in a major battle. Sometimes, just using your "head" takes away the necessity for a mighty battle in your "heart".

Let me qoute something ive read of GYE.
" If that lady had any inclining of what you are thinking, she would vomit all over you" 
If you ever spoke with a normal woman you will probably agree with me, they think completly different than us, so she looking at you means zero. Get it out of your head, its not even a fantasy. 
A Rabbi once said "Bucherim dont have Nisyonos, they have Chalomois'' 

chancy wrote on 27 Apr 2023 17:34:

So so true, to the point

All I have to say is that I need to share my situation and surrender it. So you have done your duty by surrendering the thought to this forum. Thank you for sharing. I have posted about a girl across the road previously. It is over a few posts and quite lengthy, click on my name and you should see it there. If I feel the urge again I just share again and keep sharing until it is out my system, if it takes forever so be it. The future is not in my control.

Hashem is the One in charge of emotion. My responsibility is to be open and honest and Hashem does the rest. I speak to Hashem about what I want to do. I daaven for that person that I am lusting after to be successful and daaven that Hashem help me (short prayer, long can cause obsession). I share my situation with others and ask for people's experience where I need it.

I winked at her

Maybe allways "get a phone call when she walks by. So u help both of yourselves

and dont listen to the people who are saying u are making stuff up

But I want her

noshimnosher wrote on 04 May 2023 02:04:

To quote the great British poet, You Can’t Always Get What You Want

noshimnosher wrote on 04 May 2023 02:04:

Good move for sharing!

What do you want to do about it?

Sounds like you’re in a slippery slope and who knows what’s down there off the edge of the slope?

So the question is what do you want to do?

Do you want to get the help that will work for you? It’s easy to find and jump into it. Very easy!
Just depends on your fears. Can you overcome them and take a little step forward instead of continuing this downward spiral. 

Again the question is what do you want to do?

Im here for you bro!!

I know that feeling....
I changed my schedule by a few minutes so I don't encounter the people "I want".

It might be true what your feeling but you know what type of mess u'll put yourself into if you go farther.

Keep on posting, keep strong. 

Foolie wrote on 04 May 2023 02:12:

Foolie apparently you’re trying very hard to convince nosher which way to go, so I have something interesting to tell you