jackthejew wrote on 05 Mar 2023 09:46:

Yea I was saying that, thanks. Bzh soon!

Hey everyone thanks for all the help, Many members, can’t even start name calling. I do hold YouTube is not advancing me and minimizing in many ways, Maybe someone can talk me into it, I had times where it helped, however I hadn’t done too much action because there’s a widestream of devices. But all the Yisodos I hear so please hear me on this, I need awaking- at times although people ouch. One sec, that marshal of the boy serving avodah zorah when he is told the straight derech, so bemes it sounds as if there’s no help…. Uch Yoshtabash Sheri Laa’aad I know you are with me and will help me to endeavor to remove it legamry, Baruch HaShem once I Daven to you I know your here thanks will be be keshet with you soon Hashem. To the rest of the oilman, I’m sure I’m not the first nor from a few that have similar issues as with YouTube, please feel free to speak up, if you are together and need help or have some tips, you may not realize the effect of what a respond a forum may do to others. Thanks

Grant400 wrote on 05 Mar 2023 14:44:

how old are you?

Reb Emes, 

Please listen to yourself, why are you giving excuses for the YH? Im not trying to make you feel pressured or anything. I just care very deeply. 

And it really bothers me when people say that they really want to get better and have tried everything but keep falling with the internet because the access is just too easy, yet they cling to it as if its a lifeline and will come up with hosts of excuses why they cant do this or that.. I really feel bad for people like that who cant see that they are being blinded by the internet. Its like the story that the G'mara says about an Tana that saw a little kid during the destruction of the Bies Hamikdash and he spoke to him trying to calm him down and to get him to say Krias Shma before he dies, but the kids refused rather taking out a small iDol (TM) and worshiping it before he died. Thats how blind they were and this is how blind we are. 



Im really sorry for being so blunt, i dont know your exact situation, i mean no disrespect nor to cause any pain,  quit the opposite, I want to show  you that there is hope and light if we will just accept that the use of internet devices is a terrible plague on our society and has caused this addiction and all of its afflictions to skyrocket ever since it came out. Once you see that, you can make a clear decision on what you really want to do and you will be surprised on your abilities to grow. Wasted alot of my day on yt, I don't feel like I have the problem, because when I am busy I just never need or want to go on it. I am not fully removing it from myself which is a different level problem. Like when you are in it - it can be at large times at a shot. 

I’m not clear what you did there….
you reposted my post and added something? I can’t find what you added, are you trying to say something?

I find myself in a difficult situation today. 
Since Purim ive been more aroused then normal. And last night i had a very enticing dream.... I woke up the last second and nothing happened BH, but now im very sensitive. 
If thats not enough, i have a bunch of new tablets in my office that are unfiltered to give out to staff. But im setting them up. and the desire is burning. 
Why am i wiring this here? Because i dont understand how someone who has regular access to unfiltered or semi filtered internet can stay in the battle and win this fight. 
Maybe there are some tzadikkim that can do it. For me it would be impossible. 

YOU are 255 days clean.. YOU are an inspiration! WE (GYE Chevra) are not allowing you to fall today! keep going and keep inspiring!
Wishing you much Hatzlacha and tremendous Siyata Dishmaya 

Thank you! 
I will keep GYE open the whole day. 
wow its really burning me today. 
I have a goyta in the office that decided to come dressed enticing today as well...... (Maybe its just me and everything is a turn on....)

But I will NOT look at anything improper or even think. 

chancy wrote on 09 Mar 2023 17:06:

CHAZAK CHAZAK my friend!! It's a tailor-made nisayon for you to CONQUER today and you can do it!!! I have had this in my office several times and I tell myself "Eww this is garbage, I'm BETTER than this." And just focus on what I'm doing and IGNORE. You're in CONTROL Chancy!

Bennyh wrote on 09 Mar 2023 18:09:

Incredible! Even when it seems although you don’t have an issue at 255 days, think again it gets enticing and hard.. what’s the difference between 90 days vs 1 year vs 5 yrs. I feel like I know between long extensive and a 90 days run. Keep it up, happy you passed through!!

chancy wrote on 09 Mar 2023 13:26:

You were saying shtark, I wanted to repeat it, to focus back on it. 

I’ll give an update, I have been on yt for almost an entire day, it annoys me and saddens me looking back to that day. I need something that I am lacking and need to get it figured out. I was mitchasek a bunch and would flip one two three like.. but I need some guidance of that flow in a way I would call it holding my hand side by side because it’s fearful yet sounds like a simple move to do. I want to be part of that group but can’t jump the leap of puddle without getting drenched!

So just a brief update, I got a message from someone willing to challenge me, so from today monday till monday non exclusive of no yt. If I fail then I will pay a knas set aside, and not to tsedakah because it would be a win win in a sense for an aveirah. The challenge included to stay off yt and sites with video content similar to such and some other conditions. Bzh it should help.

Let me share something personal: When I have access to a device with internet, I feel physically paralyzed to do anything else other than to use the device. Nothing bad chas veshalaom! Just emails, GYE, email, GYE, and back again.

It doesn't matter that I know it's wasting time, or that I REALLY planned to learn in this time, or spend time with my family, or go to sleep.

I. Just. Can't. Put. It. Down.

The last time this happened to me was.....

Yesterday.

So you want to know what my solution is?

I don't. Have. Access. At. Home. Period.

It just so happens to be that I had to bring home a device over the weekend for work reasons. But yesterday's experience reinforced my knowledge that no device should cross the threshold of my house unless it's EXTREMELY IMPORTPANT for my parnassa on that day, and EVEN THEN, I will think 10 times if it's really necessary....

So if I had access to YouTube at home? Well, haha. I would just be a helpless monkey, staring at the screen glassy-eyed until drool would dribble out of the corner of my mouth...

Bennyh wrote on 13 Mar 2023 21:36:

I don't want to sound like I am dumb, and not seeing the point. Here is what user chancy has previously said which, I can relate ti which is hard to break free from, you will see as such story:

 "The access is just too easy, yet they cling to it as if its a lifeline and will come up with hosts of excuses why they cant do this or that.. I really feel bad for people like that who cant see that they are being blinded by the internet. Its like the story that the G'mara says about an Tana that saw a little kid during the destruction of the Bies Hamikdash and he spoke to him trying to calm him down and to get him to say Krias Shma before he dies, but the kids refused rather taking out a small iDol (TM) and worshiping it before he died. That's how blind they were and this is how blind we are."

So you see, every single person's comments are helping me more and more, recognizing it's bad. The need while in my path is what makes it hard, so you say chuck it out... I know that path yet it won't defeat the purpose to resist within me, just holding it away from me. I have to just put those breakages of lose bandage and drop it once and for all. 
Every message on here helps tremendously, I sit back on them thinking it over. It is on the other hand very bluntly I will say it hard, I guess because I am "in it". So the goal as of now have a small breakage from this challenge for the week. I will try to put harder gedarim to get to them, just I can't do that final step up until I am fully on board like the story above. It is hard to say and probably assume you reading this is hard to hear. But I am sure I will full invest an entire breakage from it legamri in the future,