Hi. I think a big issue with me quitting is that I don't really want or care about quitting with my soul of soul, my heart of hearts. How can I resolve this lack of fire within myself to quit?
I know quitting is the right thing, but I don't quite care about doing the right thing at the moment. I guess part of the issue here is I don't fully understand the importance and urgency of doing the right thing, especially when it comes to these issues. All help to mend my understanding and ignite my fire is appreciated.

You wrote "I know quitting is the right thing". What do you mean by that. Why is it the right thing?

BT2001 wrote on 02 Aug 2022 14:07:

Hi,
Your situation sounds similar to the one I was in till four months ago. I enjoyed what I was doing, and I didn't see a strong enough reason to even want to quit.

Since I committed to stopping over the last three months, I have gained much more clarity. I'm in the process of articulating some of my thoughts; if you're interested, you can find them here: https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/383913-Doing-the-impossible

BT2001 wrote on 02 Aug 2022 14:07:

Something I found to be really helpful is sitting down and writing/typing up a list of 15 completely different reasons I could think of for why I wanted to stop ("Porn will destroy my ability to date normally, to have a healthy marriage, will lead to me not getting any pleasure/enjoyment from sex, destroys my Kavanah during Davening and learning, makes it so much harder to focus during the day, etc.) and then printing it out and keeping it on me during all times. I read it every time I felt like falling.

BT2001 wrote on 02 Aug 2022 14:07:

Thanks for a great honest question..  i don't recall answering previously so here goes...

I used to struggle with something simliar every year by yom kippur.  on the one hand i was davening sincerely,  i was trying to do teshuva and ask hashem for forgiveness and to be written in the book of good life etc... on the other hand, there was a voice in my head that was constantly telling me "you know that you are going to be doing the same aveiros within a day or two"... (sometimes within an hour or two...) I was embarrassed to even ask for forgiveness.  Truthfully there were years that i actually davened to hashem that he take me from this world before i fell even further... 

So i know very well what it means to know what is right and still want and be pulled in the direction of what is wrong - even on the holiest day of the year!

Ultimately what will probably need to be done, is to separate the voices and understand what it is that You really want, and what it is that the yetzer hara is telling you (using your voice) that you want.  There are various exercises that may work. 

Try to identify the feelings that are coming from the yetzer hara and think of them as if they are coming from someone else.

Try to think about what your long term goal is in life? Envision where you want to be in 20 years.  Then ask yourself what it is you need to get to that place?

Find someone objective to speak these things out with.  Someone you can trust to bare your soul with whom you can be fully honest.  Verbalizing your thoughts often helps you attain a clarity that seemed unattainable.  

Write.  If you don't have someone with whom you can speak openly. Try expressing yourself in writing. Try to reach deep inside and uncover your emotions and feelings.  They are all valid.  Express them.  Hopefully you will discover the truth that may be buried deep inside yourself.

As others have mentioned, a list of reasons you want to stop and the damage inflicted by not stopping should be very helpful.  

Review the above and refer back to them regularly.

For myself, reading a chapter of the book The Battle of the Generation each night is very helpful in keeping my motivation going.  I do believe though that the initial motivation to start this journey needs to come from within using some of the methods mentioned above.

Wishing you much clarity and success.

vehkam

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 02 Aug 2022 14:31:

Essentially the idea of na'aseh v'nishma. I know that that's what H' wants for me: to stop doing the aveiros. And by quitting the aveiros, I will merit many berachos. But I'm having trouble understanding and actualizing the reason and benefits of quitting the aveiros.

Na'aseh V'nishma means without understanding and actualizing the reason and benefits of quitting the aveiros. Can you come up with any non-religious reasons  to stop?

How old are you? For me a non-religious motive of “this will be an issue in marriage” is pretty motivating 

Not trying to sound condescending, please don't take it that way. 

You found this site, set up an account, posted your post (congrats), why? Why set up an account and post here if you're not ever sure if you want to stop or if you should be wanting to stop? Have you done the same about any other sin like maybe loshon hora or talking during davening?

Sounds like you're still contemplating, I'm posting these questions as sort of food for though,  so you can start thinking and figuring out where you are with all of this. 

Wishing you lots of luck

I relate.