Why is it some times are so easy and some are so hard?

Two weeks ago I fell, hard. For basically an entire week. This past week, with no effort put in or changes made, was a breeze. Not that I was withstanding nisyanos, the avenues I feel in the week before were still available but I had no desire for it. I'm not complaining, but I am confused.

It's very... confusing how one week can be so challenging and the next so easy.

Anyone have any explanation? Any advice on how to make concrete gains while the going is good?

 

Maybe I need to daven harder...

Chooseurname wrote on 25 Jul 2022 00:04:

Insightful post, thank you for sharing. One thing you can consider in terms of keeping going once you have momentum is that some people, once they get going on a clean run, think to themselves, "Oh, it's only a matter of time before this ends..." They have other fatalistic thoughts similar to this and they end up dooming themselves and giving up because "it's going to happen anyway". These are nothing more than the lies of addictive thinking. If we can come to believe in ourselves and know that we can indeed win day by day, you have a good chance.
As for why one week is harder than another, there could be a million reasons. Are you fantasizing more in the hard week? Are you in less tzanua areas? Are you seeing more triggering things? These are all exacerbating factors. When they are present, the challenge is nearly impossible. When you avoid them, the challenge evaporates almost completely. I personally believe that fantasizing is at the root of it all. Reflect on your past week of success and try to identify how you stayed clear of these exacerbating factors.
You can do it.

I've been wondering the same thing...

After years of not being able to do more than a few days, I'm at day 45 right now and it's never been this easy for me. While I've definitely made some changes (read: a lot of changes) and for the first time I am working on lust as opposed to shemiras einayim, I can't believe how easy it's been going.

I've noticed that every time I start thinking about how or why it's so easy, I either feel like I can start letting my guard down or, I get really scared that something's comin down the road and I will fall big time. Obviously neither thought is healthy and I guess the takeaway is to just focus on the task at hand, day by day, minute by minute. Not rationalizing, not asking why and not getting complacent.

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 25 Jul 2022 00:50:

Aderabah, maybe that's why this week was easy

5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 25 Jul 2022 01:24:

Great points. As I was writing the question I thought about it a littler harder, and there probably were some subtle changes that made a difference. For example, a tough time for me is when I'm bored at work and this past week I was working in the same room as someone else so I couldn't act out when I was bored. I still feel like those differences don't fully explain why one week can be so much harder than the next though.

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 25 Jul 2022 15:48:

Enjoy it, congrats!
But yeah, on the one hand I want to figure out why it's going well so I can make sure to reinforce whatever I'm doing right. On the other hand, I feel like thinking about it too much gets me into that negative "this can't last" mindframe.

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 25 Jul 2022 15:48:

Beautiful post! Keep up the great work!

Welcome! To your question, maybe the small little things snowball into greater, stronger lust and challenge?