Many thanks DavidT - definitely appreciate the uplifting words as I still grapple with the loss. But, I must say that the GYE community has helped me through a lot of this, even as I passively read posts and update my chart. I gain much strength and inspiration from reading your, and everyone's, stories here. This is the first time I'm really opening up about my story. At least the last 7 months of it anyway.
I started my first streak the end of November, 2 weeks before my father fell I'll from a lingering respiratory infection motzei shabbat. His antibiotics weren't strong enough, or started too late At 4am he was coughing and yelled for help. Luckily I had been sleeping nearby and woke up to aid him and call for help as he requested. I wonder if I did P and M like I normally have, would I have been in too deep a sleep to even hear/respond. Or if I had been doing P and M at the time, maybe I would've responded faster. The yetzer hara still messes with me in this.
Finally EMTs arrived and resuscitated him 4 times, but he renained unresponsive (only opening eyes but no real movement, recognition of me, or speech - basically a vegetative state) due to lack of oxygen and placed on life support. I wasn't as active on the site, but no P&M helped me deal. On the 90th day, the acute care hospital staff dropped my father by accident, and I had to go to the ER with him at 3am. Then I fell on my 109th day (my record) after he had a cancer scare (growth was found benjgn). Was really bummed and fell for 3 weeks, but came back to GYE.
The day I restarted, later that same day , my father was sent from rehab back to ER. Crazy timing. Then on my 60th day he passed. Now I've made it to 90 days and beyond, right at Shloshim. I've given a brief synopsis of an incredibly trying time, and left out a lot of the past leading up, and the journey with Hashem -- that's been quite something to behold all around.
Lots of changes without him, and major adjustments with our home and all, but taking the great.advice suggested - one day at a time. Thank you again, and wishing much simcha and hatzlacha to you and the great people here!
