looking for help wrote on 22 Jun 2022 14:55:
Hi Chevra,
I was wondering if anybody can you relate to this, and how you treat such a case. Since I'm a young boy I have had a terrible fetish to look at feet (from the knee down) as if it was a s*x object. It gets me aroused more than anything else (and I mean 'anything'), I can go miles and miles, search for hours and hours, stand at the window etc. only to get a glimpse of a foot, especially if dressed (hosed) and worn in nice shoes. Men and women, no difference. I don't want to elaborate on this too much, not to trigger other people, but how do you deal with such a thing, I get aroused even in Beis Hamedrosh seeing other people dingeling/playing with their shoes. Never mind going on the streets passing women dressed in fine hosiery and nice shoes. Did anybody have any similar fetishes? Has anybody dealt with something like this? Has anyone succeeded?!
I must point out that I had this fetish as a kid many-many years before I knew anything bad. I still recall when a little stone fell into my shoe when I was a little kid, and I asked my Rebbi if I can go to the bathroom remove it, and he didn't understand me, he told me do it right here in class, take off your shoe and throw out the stone! I couldn't do it, for me it was like taking off my shirt (or worse) in middle of class...
I had something very similar
I used to like to look at naked women's legs, I could look at shopping sites for hours just to see that, I felt like I need it like air to breathe
To make a long story short i used to hate going to chaider to i find my safe space around chaider like in the morning hours before going to chaider or on the bus and at home when i came back from chaider etc.
The lest few months I'm working in theropy to heal the trauma from chaider, a few weeks ago I found myself bot interested in looking at women's legs anymore, I shared it with my therapist and he started to go deeply in with trainspotting to find out what's the underlying issue is, it's ended up when I were small I used to see my mother every morning dressing herself and I saw her naked lags and sometimes her private area too and that makes me for any reason to feel safe
b"h I'm healling it now
