It's been a while since I've posted anything about myself so I just wanted to let the chevra here know that baruch Hashem, I'm over 90 days clean from m. This is something that I previously thought would be impossible because I've been trying for 8 months to stop before finding GYE and I never made it to my goal at that time which was 40 days. Filters were also just not under my radar and neither was accountability services. 

Now baruch Hashem I'm free from m for over 90 days and counting, but I still can't stop looking at p. Although I can hold myself back from utilizing a few of those few chances that I have from looking at p, I find myself inevitably falling still a few times and in the last few days I've actually fell a lot in terms of looking of less explicit material and then p too. And although I've been free from m for such a while, looking at that stuff for the past few days is putting that desire to m again in me again, even though when I fell before and gave into watching before I hit 90 days from m, the desire to m wouldn't really be as strong oddly enough. 

I just wanted to update the chevra here of that, as much as it will suck I'll restart my count here and I'll keep the count now in terms of both watching p and/or less explicit stuff and m. I started the journey wanting to do this in the first place and it can't be complete without both of them and it won't be lasting without both of them.

Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik wrote on 16 Mar 2022 14:26:

You've used the 90 day tool correctly. The idea of it is to give you encouragement  and help you realize that you can have self control. So even if you only focused on one thing it still served its purpose and now you can start using it for the next level of the struggle. 
​Th ultimate goal should of course be to be fully clean of all addictive behaviors,  but the fact is that most people don't go there cold turkey overnight and having ups and down is very normal and part of successful recovery. 

Keep up the great work! We are also really thankful for your advice about accountability software, which is really a must.

Maybe you want to supercharge this next leg of your journey by reading from The Battle of the Generation and listening to The Fight daily. They are awesome. See ththe links for them below in my signature.

I will, thanks. 

I always wanted to reach 90 days like before... I want to be like you reached 90 days but it's difficult... bli ayin hara

you should be feeling great to reach 90 days