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TOPIC: Single 442 Views

Single 13 Feb 2022 03:58 #377306

  • bochurke
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Sincerely to be single and be shomer is very difficult, when the years pass and you see you’re not getting married you don’t see anymore when the relief will come

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 04:11 #377307

  • vehkam
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Using the tools and methods on this website to rewire your brain will definitely help with that struggle. You are correct that it is difficult but once you change your perspective that can be a source of inspiration.
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 04:15 #377308

  • bochurke
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Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 08:08 #377316

  • jackthejew
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Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:
Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

According to Dov, 95% of GYE aren't addicts. We're just dealing with urges.
Off the forum for now.
My Thread (Not for inspiration, but for random bits and pieces of my journey, as well as the inspiring responses of others: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/375514-Enough-is-Enough
jackthejewgye@gmail.com
There are tips, tools, and techniques, but there are no shortcuts.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! ~ Groucho Marx
Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.-Voltaire
You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.- Abraham Lincoln
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.- Yogi Berra
"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." ~ Calvin

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 14:00 #377322

  • Captain
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Welcome! Please check out these great free resources: 
ebook- The Battle of the Generation 
Audio series- The Fight
See below in my signature for the links.

​Hatzlocha!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 15:12 #377329

Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:
Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

Welcome! Hang out here and you’ll find lots of successful tips from the chevrah here! 
How about starting from here.. take a paper and write down all the contributing things that you feel are making the battle so intense for you? 
perhaps things like..
1.gazing in the street. 
2.thinking certain thoughts without seeing anything recently  
3.looking at different things. 
4. Looking around at weddings. 
(Everyone has a whole big bunch of contributing factors) 
It’ll be helpful because once you have everything
down you can know where to start and what to add and what to reduce to make your journey easier! 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 15:17 #377330

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 13 Feb 2022 15:12:

Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:
Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

Welcome! Hang out here and you’ll find lots of successful tips from the chevrah here! 
How about starting from here.. take a paper and write down all the contributing things that you feel are making the battle so intense for you? 
perhaps things like..
1.gazing in the street. 
2.thinking certain thoughts without seeing anything recently  
3.looking at different things. 
4. Looking around at weddings. 
(Everyone has a whole big bunch of contributing factors) 
It’ll be helpful because once you have everything
down you can know where to start and what to add and what to reduce to make your journey easier! 

Keep in mind our whole Fight is stemming from our thoughts. So we gotta figure out what causes us to think things. for you it might be partially the constant thought of marriage. Thoughts often stem from what we see and hear.. and of course the actions we do. So we see people married and we want the same so that gets us on a roll. It’s important to understand the thoughts that are triggers.. and the best if we can understand what triggers the thoughts often it’s something we see or do that can be reduced. But don’t overthink :-) that’s a problem too! 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Single 13 Feb 2022 16:20 #377333

  • cordnoy
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jackthejew wrote on 13 Feb 2022 08:08:

Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:
Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

According to Dov, 95% of GYE aren't addicts. We're just dealing with urges.

I have a lot to say on this, but no time right now.
Those who can't stop actin' out on their urges become addicted.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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