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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: My summer forum 6259 Views

Re: My summer forum 23 Mar 2023 14:38 #393791

  • emes-a-yid
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eyes wrote on 20 Mar 2023 23:57:
Hi Guys 
A bit of an update 
BH the summer is coming to an end and the winter is settling in. 
Went back to university at the end of February.

I worked in a store that attracts lots of people of all cultures and dress. 
BH over the summer I was able to stay tuned.

However, after so many days BH BH BH of being clean, the nagging thoughts of what I saw so long ago start crawling in.

Also these days I BH have lots of stress, good stress, but its still stress. There is a very easy door, one that is able to remove the stress for just a short period of time. But the short term pleasure is very lerring. Its easy to go there.

Oh, I also got a smart phone. But with HHM's guidence, it is BH locked from any smutz. Although there is a way to find out some shmutz. I try to be careful.

A short recap of how I am feeling about my count.

BH as you can see I am many days clean. It BH includes not googling anything inapropiate things or clothing, looking in the street etc. But now with BH so much stress in my life the load is getting unbearable. 
My thoughts BH over 200 days, What were those 200 days? those 200 were the inspiration of staying clean. They were those firey days that I was commited. But now is when those firey days are gone and now is the real deal. 

Almost every day BH I get up at 515 AM to learn at 530 with a chavrusa Chassidus Chabad. I try to take a lesson from what we learn daily and carry it with me throughout my day.

Its not easy being in University where most of the students are teenagers and dress how teenagers dress.

BH with all the stress it is hard to keep focused on the task.

But with Hashems help we will be matzliach

EYES

Hey Eyes, Wow it’s awesome to see your progress no matter the surroundings and your strong minded to keep a dose of inspiration throughout your day to push through, keep it up
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: My summer forum 27 Mar 2023 09:43 #393949

  • eyes
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guys I am normal like you 
I have the same challenges that you have 

we are in this together

Re: My summer forum 18 Apr 2023 00:13 #394602

  • eyes
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guys unfortunately my eyes are not being clean.

any support 

thanks

Re: My summer forum 18 Apr 2023 00:35 #394605

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Why don't you try @Vekham's plan. One chapter of The Battle of the Generation every night.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: My summer forum 18 Apr 2023 02:39 #394612

Is this book available to buy or only pdf download?

Trying The Best! You'll become the best!

I can be reached at 1tryingthebest@gmail.com, 929-500-1185 (google voice number)

Re: My summer forum 18 Apr 2023 03:23 #394619

Today is Rosh Chodesh “ELUL”!

We’re past the geshmaka YT Pesach with cleaning out all the chametz and this ugly YH from our hearts…, past the uplifting Lag Bomer, past sfira days getting prepared for Kabulas hatorah…, past the beautiful holy Shvuos, Kabulas hatora…ah…how lucky to be a part of Hashems nation, but the YH doesn’t care, he’s so active in these summer days. He goes before Shvuos, on Shvuos,…
HELLO can you leave me alone?! You don’t see I want to keep my eyes clean in these hot summer days?! I understand you are here for a mission, but… you know what I mean?…
I am going to the mountains to run away from the dirty city streets, but the YH has his tactics, while shopping in these big department stores and malls, taking the family to the beach, trips where a lot of people are not dressed appropriately or even in the bungalow colony looking at heimisha women….etc. I had a lot of  falls with shmiras eiynayim, Having those summer Tayva thoughts… while going swimming and chilling around. And here we’re a month before the Holy day ROSH HASHANA And here we are after a fallen summer season…broken and ugly feelings...doing tshuva our minds are full of thoughts and hoping for a Ksiva v’chsima tova, taking upon myself this coming year WILL BE A CLEAN YEAR!! Enough is enough…!

shhhhh…. Let me take out my safety pin and bust this balloon and wake you up from your dream….PPPOOOOOOWW!!
HHEEELLLOO,  we still have a chance to have a successful and clean, fall-less summer season, it’s not ELUL yet, we’re still before Lag Bomer, we can still put on our “guards on our eyes” and get to Elul CLEAN….ahhhh! Thanks hashem for that!

sorry for waking you up, just wanted the message to get into myself in a dramatic way…

enjoy!
Trying the best!

Trying The Best! You'll become the best!

I can be reached at 1tryingthebest@gmail.com, 929-500-1185 (google voice number)

Re: My summer forum 18 Apr 2023 03:29 #394621

  • vehkam
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Trying The Best wrote on 18 Apr 2023 02:39:
Is this book available to buy or only pdf download?

Pm or email me.  I’m happy to get you a copy. 
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: My summer forum 19 Apr 2023 05:55 #394671

  • excellence
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@eyes, a partner may be the solution...

Re: My summer forum 19 Apr 2023 06:16 #394673

  • misgaber96
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Eyes... I second the previous post, I also say just share with us your situation, writing it out helps, Just click on my name I just posted a share today on another forum.

Re: My summer forum 19 Apr 2023 10:59 #394676

  • eyes
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Hey mate ( how we talk in Australia)
I have some really amazing sponser.
I even made a new friend today. One that I know will be there for me iyh a long way in the future

Re: My summer forum 20 Apr 2023 10:19 #394732

  • eyes
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Hi Guys 
I think I fell really low tonight
I think i watched porn for the first time

I need to stop before things get out of hand

Not sure why I am doing this 

Please reach out 

Need to get out of this quick.

I dont want to fall deeper

Thanks 

EYES

Re: My summer forum 20 Apr 2023 18:06 #394745

  • davidt
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eyes wrote on 20 Apr 2023 10:19:
Hi Guys 
I think I fell really low tonight
I think i watched porn for the first time

I need to stop before things get out of hand

Not sure why I am doing this 

Please reach out 

Need to get out of this quick.

I dont want to fall deeper

Thanks 

EYES

Let's hope it's the first and LAST time...
What's your plan. If we fail to plan we plan to fail. 
Please visit the toolbox app.guardyoureyes.com/toolbox so you can arm yourself with the tools that can work best for you.
Also, are there any gedarim/fences you can setup in technology? When one makes a geder (fence) , it’s as if he is saying, “I am committed to breaking this cycle, and my proof is that I’m going to make things difficult for myself.” While he can still slip, the geder he instituted nonetheless shows a level of commitment that he is motivated to deal with his problem. Ultimately, if a person has done as much as he could, the result is that he will have more siyata dishmaya and berachah from Hashem..
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My summer forum 20 Apr 2023 18:59 #394747

  • excellence
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@ eyes. Get a web chaver.....

Re: My summer forum 30 Apr 2023 11:24 #395131

  • frank.lee
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Such an amazing and creative post! Thanks for sharing!!

Re: My summer forum 01 May 2023 00:26 #395159

  • emes-a-yid
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Hey eyes whats going on, I hope you are in a good mood now, I haven't heard from you in a bit. 

If you want to chat or call would love a word with you, I want to hear what is on your mind and how you are dealing with things. I understand you are not like many who have seen many times but still I can tell you are a huge gibor by the sight of seeing you on gye constantly only for more improvement. Let me know in a pm if you want to if not just ignore. 
Hatzlacha eyes
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid
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