Hello dear friends of , Gard your eyes

I've been reading here for quite some time, and I see that everyone has at least the same story

 You were a little sweet innocent boy 10-12 years old - and found out on your own or from someone else that you can drug yourself with forbidden ראוית אסורוית  to calm down. You grow old a person goes through various difficulties as the order of the world and then  people remember that there is a way out of everything and more then that it’s in your privet rooms no one knows and people are convinced that he is not even drugd up and one looks at oneself a little and everything is in order until the next bad situation is coming up  and so one goes through this time with falling more and more,

This is more less the story one older one younger.

My story is a little different, and I want to hear from the עולם what or you saying about such a story and especially to find out one is on the same page as me and if so to know what is the right advice in this matter and talk to him:

I was a normal boy and did not have many friends and always wanted to be a friend with the nicest boy of class and so is almost forever with children like me in it never succeeded because of my natures but everything went normally I felt from time to time but  nothing more than that, never really knew what the mitzvah after the wedding is until the 16-17th when one begins to find out something and so further kept my eyes on how one should be aware of the extraordinarily large defect of  Masturbation   i said Tikkun Haklali when I needed not as a Braslav'er but as an honest Jew and waited for the happy minute to get married understand that as I got older the temptations became stronger but I strengthened it by swearing. Be that as it may, with the help of God, my wife is going to be something I have truly been waiting for

מורי ורבותיI do not know how it happened but it was the will of the name my kallah was not pleasing in my eyes from the first minute that literally I did not even look at the pictures I wasent able to look at her No matter how beautiful she dressed and I do not know why

After the wedding it got much worse I did not like her personally how good she was just to me from then is  my day  not a day my night is not a night a whole  time I’m  thinking  how can I love her. being a really good man

I'm doing what I can to satisfy her but inside .......... is not!!

This horrible reality and dissatisfaction did not inadvertently drag me into looking at all kinds of forbidden things that are only there because I feel much better there,

Why did I just tell you my story? I was accused of having the best wife in the world. How you can’t  accept  ? How ?

I keep quiet not because I have nothing to answer but because no one is going to accept it,

Meanwhile I'm here I try to keep strong I fall through very many times I need a lot of  חיזוק and  I pray to the great Creator that He will take me out of my situation in being able to live with my dear wife in love and peace and cheers and she will bear Grace be with me forever and can continue to be a fun home inspired by the Shechinah Amen !!

Dear friend, I want the world to call on !! What  or you saying

What is the right thing to do? Is there anyone here who has such a problem?

Welcome!
What an amazing life story. You seem to be a very special person and hopefully you'll find the right solution very soon with the help of Hashem.

If I may give some suggestions:
1- Please read the Kuntras for Men which can give you some solid insights on the topic you're discussing.
2- We have a special mentor on GYE his nickname is "Hashem Help Me" , I think he would be a good person to help you through your situation. (I'll email you his contact info). 
3- Here are some links to some articles that can help you with your perspective on this situation and use it for growth:

• The Currency of Marriage
• What can I do for You?
• What is the Ikkar of Marriage?
• Not Happy With My Wife's Appearance
• The Difference Between Lust & Love

I will second that.
HHM has been very helpful for me personally as well.
He has heard it all.
Please give him a chance.

You seem to have a lot pent up. 
JM in the AM, you have come to the right place.
Keep posting and fellow GYE'ers will respond.
The way you began your story is perfect, put it out on the table and others will help out.
Stay around, please dont disappear. 

Eyes

Dear JM,
As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I thought of your story. 
It is truly very hard to live with someone that you are not attracted to. 
I recalled, when I was in the dating seen, (not sure how your dating works), i dated a really nice girl with so many middos tovos, but I could not look at her. I went out with her 4 times until I made the decision that I cant look at her, even though she was really good looking with nice blond hair. I just couldn't look at her, so I told the shaddchan no. 

But I could tell you one thing. Those women in those pictures are more beautiful then my wie and your wife. our Jewish wofes can not compete with those women. 
By looking at those women you will never be able to look at your wife in a good eye as you will be always comparing her to them.  this story will help prove what I am saying. 

guardyoureyes.com/articles/stories/item/as-a-wife-i-beg-you-get-help?category_id=10

Dear JM,
I know that it is hard, and I envy you, as your struggle must be very hard. It happens to me sometimes that I see a women by mistake who is really beautiful and her face dances around in my mind. I need to push it out, and think of my wife who is really beautiful for me.

Thanks for hearing my rant

Eyes