Hi, 
This past month and half have been really good b”h, until last week I had a fall and this week I had 2 falls. How do I pick myself back up after 3 straight falls? 

"SHEVA yipol tzaddik V'KUM"! Even a tzaddik falls 7 times but nevertheless gets back up.

1) Remind yourself of the resolution and the reasons you made a month and a half earlier.
Lay out the pros and cons. Decide to do what makes more sense. (Obviously being clean).
2) A wonderful user here called "sleepy" just recently wrote something beautiful. "You didn't fail, you fell". Remember, falling down after a month of climbing means you are still way, way up the mountain already. 
3)Remember how good you felt when you were clean.
4) To you 3 falls is discouraging and that fact that (only?) 3 falls is upsetting is the biggest proof that you didn't break a streak but rather are continuing to build upon its foundation.
5) Commit to posting your progress and struggles daily on the forum. It works miracles. 
6) It's not about a "streak". Its about doing what's right each and every second. A lifetime is comprised of seconds. Not streaks.

                       Bon voyage, 
                                   Grant

@Abcd123

I have been on here for several years.
My pattern has been to stay clean, then fall...but when I fall I usually fall again within a week.
Or a month.

I think three things cause this-

The Yetzer Hara teases you - it says "If you can fall once, then what is so bad about falling again?"

I read that the Yetzer Hara is not so concerned with making you sin once. It wants you to feel bad about yourself as a result of a sin, and so then sin again and again because you feel low and a big distance from Hashem.

I also think that the "high" of the fall makes our brain chase the high again, even more than before the first fall. We need a more intense high each time we fall.

So - know that you are not alone, and this experience is to be expected.

Keep going - take things day by day.

Be on extra guard after a fall, and be extra nice to yourself, give yourself lots of reasons to be positive.

And perhaps try Mindfulness?


Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

In my experience the most difficult part of the battle is getting back up after a fall. By far.
It's not easy, and requires a boatload of resolve. 
But you've done it before and you can do it again. 
Keep up the good work!